Birthday Cards Comic Strips

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51 Results for Birthday Cards

View 1 - 10 results for birthday cards comic strips. Discover the best "Birthday Cards" comics from Dilbert.com.

Spring Cleaning

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Spring Cleaning - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 2020's comic on:


Tags #baboons, #birthday, #business, #cleaning, #criminals, #drunk, #files, #list, #servers, #spring, #white-collar

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boss on cell phone: we need to do spring cleaning. delete any data on our servers that make us look like white-collar criminals or drunken baboons. dilbert: all that leaves is our birthday list. boss through phone line: torch that too.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2018's comic on:


Tags #birthday, #cake, #card or goft, #collect money, #collection, #leave work early, #boss birthday

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Carol: I need to go home early today. Can you collect money for our boss's birthday gift? Carol: I wouldn't ask you don to it, but his birthday is tomorrow. Dilbert: um...okay. Carol: and could you also order a cake? You'll also need a card and a gift. Dilbert: This got a lot harder than I thought it.... Carol: Thanks! Bye! Dilbert: Tomorrow is our Boss's Birthday and I need to leave for early today, so... Alice: Nice try.

Boss Counts Cards

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Boss Counts Cards  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 11, 2017's comic on:


Tags #gambling, #gambler, #card counting, #blackjack, #poker, #cards

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Boss: I've decided to become a professional gambler on the side. Dilbert: Sounds risky. Boss: Nah. I'm teaching myself to count cards. 50...51...51...53! Nailed it again!

Scott's Birthday Cake

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Scott's Birthday Cake - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 08, 2015's comic on:


Tags #joy, #joyless, #cruelty, #birthday, #cynicism, #cynic

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Carol: We've got a cake in the break room for Scott's birthday. Dilbert: I see no reason to celebrate the random timing of natural events by eating poison and singing. Carol: Ow! You sucked all of the joy out of my body! Dilbert: Maybe you can backfill it with cake.

Asok The Stock Picking Genius

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Asok The Stock Picking Genius - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2015's comic on:


Tags #day trader, #greed, #investing, #luck, #money, #stock market, #stocks

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Asok: I bought my first stock and it went up five percent in one week!That means I'm a stock-picking genius. I plan to max out all of my credit cards and become a day-trader. Dilbert: The total market is up six percent. Asok: That's just luck. It can't do that forever.

Dolphin Lives In Sea Water

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Dolphin Lives In Sea Water - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 2015's comic on:


Tags #animal behavior, #animals in captivity, #dolphin, #exotic pets, #fish & aquatic mammals, #russia, #russian military, #birthday clowns, #drwoned, #seawater, #angry

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CEO: I bought a dolphin for my daughter's birthday party. But it turned out to be a retired Russian military dolphin. It dragged one of the birthday clowns into the pool and drowned him. Dilbert: I though dolphins need to live in seawater. CEO: Maybe that's why it's so angry.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 08, 2012's comic on:


Tags #birthdays, #collecting money, #birthday present, #acquaintance price, #chart, #used gum, #lint, #bent staples

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Tina: I'm collecting money for Scott's birthday present. Dilbert: Let me check my acquaintance price chart to see what he's worth. Do you have change for used gum? Tina: Do you want it in lint or bent staples?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 2012's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #lobbying, #lobbiest, #bribers, #holiday, #birthdays, #lucrative job, #tax breaks, #company tax breaks, #interview

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Man: Your lobbyist said I could have a lucrative job here someday if I support tax breaks for your company. I have offers from other bribers, so I thought I'd stop by and see how this dump compares. Dilbert: Suddenly I know too much. Man: Fetch me some coffee and I'll make your birthday a holiday.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 2011's comic on:


Tags #cats & kittens, #computer software, #contracts, #harvest organs, #signed, #software services, #save lives

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Carol says, "There's a guy in the lobby who says he's here to harvest your organs." Carol says, "Apparently, you signed a software services agreement without fully understanding it." Dilbert says, "Well, at least I can save lives." Carol says, "He said something about his cat's birthday."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 08, 2010's comic on:


Tags #birthday cake, #coworker, #Scott, #spit, #candle, #sarcastic, #queen of england, #fancy

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Carol says, "We're having a birthday cake for Scott in the break room." Dilbert says, "No thanks. I prefer cake that isn't frosted with the spit of recent candle-blowing." Carol says, "Oooh, look at the Queen of England who likes her cake without spit. What's it like to be fancy?"