Bits Comic Strips
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11 Results for Bits
View 1 - 10 results for bits comic strips. Discover the best "Bits" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday June 15,
2013
Tags #apathy, #death & dying, #distress, #rearrange bits, #already dead
Transcript
Dilbert: All I did this week was rearrange bits on the Internet. I had no real impact on the physical world. I can't rule out the possibility that I'm already dead and I don't know it. Okay, still an open question.
Sunday June 04,
2000
Tags #bikini pics, #dismissal, #technically, #magnetic media, #zeros and ones, #auditors, #40 gigs of pics
Transcript
Catbert, the Evil H.R. director says to Wally, "Wally, our auditors found 40 gigabits of bikini pictures on your PC." Wally is thinking the same thing. Catbert says to Wally, "That is grounds for dismissal. How do you plead?" Wally thinks to himself, "Innocent. Technically, they didn't find any pictures." Wally says to Catbert, "What they found were zeroes and ones resting harmlessly on magnetic media." Wally continues, "It was the auditors themselves who activated thoe harmless bits to form pictures on the screen." Wally says to Catbert, "I demand that those godless auditors be fired!" Wally also says, "And if it's not too much trouble, I'd like my zeroes and ones back." After Wally's meeting with Catbert, Dilberts asks Wally "Was justice served?" Wally responds, "It's a gray area."
Tuesday February 09,
1999
Tags #meeting moth, #wool clothes, #participants, #moth eaten clothes, #empty stomach
Transcript
Dilbert walks cursing. His clothing is chewed to bits. Alice also curses. her clothing also has large bites taken out of it. The meeting moth walks with his mouth full and his hands full of cloth. The moth thinks, "A "meeting moth" should never go to a meeting on an empty stomach."
Saturday July 11,
1998
Tags #stellar week, #accomplishments, #data bits, #disaster recovery, #back up facility, #copy a file, #diskette, #resume
Transcript
The Boss, Wally, and Dilbert sitting at table. Wally says, "I'm pleased to report another stellar week of accomplishments." Wally continues, "I moved more than 800,00 bits of data to a disaster recovery back-up facility!" As Dilbert and Wally walk away, Dilbert says, "Did you just take credit for copying a file to a diskette?" Wally says, "It was my resume."
Wednesday November 03,
1993
Tags #computer, #ratbert, #Dilbert, #rat
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. Ratbert says, "Yeah, I'd say that I've become a loved and respected member of the family." Ratbert continues, "Sure, you had some initial prejudice because I'm a rat, but love won out." Ratbert concludes, "So, I was thinking maybe there's a better way to leave little bits of cheese around the house for me." Ratbert's tail is stuck in a mouse trap.
Thursday November 08,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #system, #data, #bits, #virtual, #array, #conflugalize, #words, #woman, #female, #employees
Transcript
Dilbert sits at a conference table with three people from marketing. A woman says, "Maybe Dilbert can explain to the marketing people how the system works." Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh." Dilbert says, "Uh . . . So the electrons alter the data bits . . . And then they go to the virtual array where they conflugalize. Got it?" The woman asks, "How many of those words did you just make up?" Dilbert thinks, "They're on to me."
Saturday September 29,
1990
Tags #dinosaurs, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #special, #bob, #animal behavior, #birds, #careless
Transcript
Dogbert walks down the stairs holding a gadget. Dogbert says, "If Dilbert wanted me to have this when he died it must have been special to him. But what is it?" Bob the Dinosaur says, "We dinosaurs have a method for handling things we don't understand." Dogbert says, "Tell me." Bob replies, "We stomp it to bits and evolve into birds who don't care."
Tuesday June 26,
1990
Tags #Dogbert, #sonic, #obliterator, #invention, #hair, #trigger, #office, #truck, #yard, #Dilbert
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk holding his invention. Dogbert asks, "May I play with your 'Sonic Obliterator' invention?" Dilbert answers, "Sure." Dilbert says, "Just be careful. It has a hair trigger and can blow a truck to bits." Dogbert says, "Neat!" Dilbert turns toward the reader and says, "You have to show them that you trust them." Dogbert says, "I'll be down at the post office truck yard."
Monday April 30,
1990
Tuesday March 27,
1990
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #guard, #teeth, #bullet, #drink, #toilet
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert says, "Remember, one of your duties as dog is to guard the house." Dilbert continues, "That might entail ripping intruders to bits with your teeth . . . Or taking a bullet for me." Dogbert replies, "Boy, all that and I get to drink out of the toilet too."