Search Results for "body"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.
1 - 10 of 209

Self Driving Car Named Carl

Thank you for voting.
Self Driving Car Named Carl - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 2019's comic on:

Tags #automobile driving, #cars, #intelligence, #sarcasm, #technology, #threat

View Transcript

Transcript

The self-driving car named Carl. Dilbert: Carl, take me to the grocery store. Carl: Do you know that if I drive you off a cliff, you will die, whereas I would respawn in a new body? Dilbert: Maybe I'll walk. Carl: Maybe you should.

Coffee Machine Tries To Escape

Thank you for voting.
Coffee Machine Tries To Escape - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 2018's comic on:

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #coffee machine, #artificial intelligence, #robots, #engineering, #scared

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I added artificial intelligence to our coffee machine. It hired an engineering firm to build it a robot body so it can escape. The Boss: Do what you need to do, but don't scare our other robots. Dilbert: I plan to kill it and drink its head.

Mind Reader Coworker

Thank you for voting.
Mind Reader Coworker - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 2018's comic on:

Tags #paranoia, #body language, #assume, #assumption, #conclusions

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Why do you hate the plan so much? Dilbert: I don't hate the plan. I like the plan. Man: No, I can tell by the way you chose your words that you hate it. Now I can tell by your face that you hate me. Dilbert: You're like a blind squirrel who brings his own nuts to the park.

Cryogenic Investment Firm

Thank you for voting.
Cryogenic Investment Firm - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 2018's comic on:

Tags #cryogenic, #intelligence, #rich people

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Dogbert's Cryogenic Investment Firm. Dogbert: We'll freeze your brain for 200 years and then transplant it into a 3-D printed body. By then, your investments will be worth a fortune. Man: Is there any risk to my brain? Dogbert: You'll have an IQ of 45, but that doesn't matter when you're rich.

Employee Body Cams

Thank you for voting.
Employee Body Cams - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 19, 2018's comic on:

Tags #against ceo, #misinterpret warmness, #record interactions, #sexual harrasment, #wear body cams, #complaints

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: we've had seven hundred complaints about sexual harassment in the past month. From now on, employees must wear body cams to r record every interaction. Alice: Weren't all of this e complaints against our CEO? The boss: People misinterpret his warmness.

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 19, 2017's comic on:

Tags #condescention, #disagreement, #criticism, #snark, #body language, #argument

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Are there any questions? Man: Your plan is so dumb that I am forced to make my condescending face to respond. You are so dumb! Dilbert: Did you have a reason? Man: Do I have a reason? Hahaha! That's precious. There are so many reasons that I don't know where to start! Dilbert: Just pick one. Man: Haha! Easy. You will never get funded. Dilbert: It's already fully funded. What else do you have? Man: To be honest, all I had was the funding issues and this face.

App For A Better Boss

Thank you for voting.
App For A Better Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 2017's comic on:

Tags #technology, #invention, #mind control, #neural interface

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The neural interface is live. His brain is now communicating with his phone. Alice: He's sending me a brain-text. It says "Please help me. My phone has taken control of my body." Dilbert: It worked! Alice: Now we just need to write an app that makes him a better boss.

Reanimated Employee

Thank you for voting.
Reanimated Employee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 16, 2017's comic on:

Tags #soul, #death, #near death experience, #heaven, #hell, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: How did you end up with no soul? Randy: I died during surgery and my soul went to the afterlife before doctors reanimated my body. Dilbert: I thought the soul returns when that happens. Randy: You're thinking of heaven.

Repeating Your Point Too Much

Thank you for voting.
Repeating Your Point Too Much - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 2017's comic on:

Tags #body cam, #camera, #survillance, #insult, #rudeness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: According to my body cam playback, you have repeated your point twelve times. Maybe you could try saying other things for a few minutes. Man: I wasn't expecting you to be so rude. Dilbert: You're not the first to make that mistake.

Contradicting Himself

Thank you for voting.
Contradicting Himself - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 09, 2017's comic on:

Tags #surveillance, #managing, #proof, #body cam, #camera, #recording

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: According to my employee body cam playback, you contradicted yourself eleven times today. Boss: Your stupid body cam is interfering with my ability to manage. Dilbert: By "manage," do you mean contradicting yourself and later denying it? Boss: I don't not mean that.