Bring To Read Comic Strips
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322 Results for Bring To Read
View 1 - 10 results for bring to read comic strips. Discover the best "Bring To Read" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday January 04,
2023
What Value You Bring
Wednesday April 28,
2021
Instead Of Handshakes
Tags business, technology, handshake, substitute, read, vote, suggestions, obscene
Transcript
boss in meeting with dilbert and wally. boss: thank you for your suggestions on what we should do instead of shaking hands. i'd like to read a few. and we can take a vote. well, it seems that all of your suggestions are obscene. wally raised hand: i vote yes
Wednesday December 16,
2020
Ted And His Laptop
Tags managers & supervisors, employment, fired, laptop, technology
Transcript
boss: today is your last day with the company, ted. so i need your company laptop back. ted: or else what? you'll fire me twice? boss: let's say you're not officially fired until you return the laptop. ted: and if i don't bring it back, will i never be fired? boss: um...
Saturday December 12,
2020
Read The Article
Tags business, office workers, article, feedback, time, waste, thoughts
Transcript
co-worker: can i get your thoughts on the article i emailed to you? dilbert: okay. my thoughts are that i don't want to waste my time reading any articles you send to me. co-worker: can you dive a bit deeper? dilbert: okay. i also don't like talking to you.
Saturday May 02,
2020
Carol Hoards
Tags business, health, office supplies, copy paper, hoarding, shortage, coronavirus
Transcript
dilbert wearing face mask: we're running low on copier paper. carol wearing face mask: i know. i hoarded it all at my house when someone said we might have a shortage. dilbert: can you bring some of it back? carol: that would defeat the point of hoarding.
Tuesday April 07,
2020
Three Dogberts
Tags business, Dogbert, marketing, plan, clone, singularity, event, book
Transcript
dogbert on desk with three dogberts behind him: i've got three dogberts working on your marketing plan, but even that isn't enough. i'd bump it up to five dogcarts, but then we risk creating a singularity event. boss: i don't get it. dogbert: read a book.
Sunday April 05,
2020
No Time Before Next Meeting
Tags boss, business, care, co-workers, hate, job, lesson, meeting, nonesence, procrastinate, reality, report, stupid, technical, technology, time
Transcript
dilbert thinking: that meeting ran long, so now i have ten minutes before the next one. i'm suppose to bring a complete technical report, and i haven't even started it. i hate this stupid job! dilbert still thinking but showing signs of distress: i hate my boss! i hate my stupid co-workers! dilbert yelling: i don't care about anything anymore! dilbert thinking and typing on laptop: i'll just angrily slap together a bunch of nonsense and call it good. grrrrrr!!! in conference room. boss: this is your bet report ever. dilbert yelling: what? dilbert at home with dogbert: today i learned a dangerous lesson about reality.
Thursday March 12,
2020
Selling Private Data
Tags business, job, management, cloud, data, people, private, information, laugh, market, sell, email, friend
Transcript
dogbert: the only reason i took a job managing cloud data is so i could laugh at people's private information. dogbert: then i discovered a robust market for selling that kind of stuff, so it's a twofer. dilbert: we need to talk. dogbert: sure. just email your thoughts to a friend, and i'll probably read them.
Friday January 31,
2020
What Good Is Money
Tags business, sarcasm, income, soul, money, earn, rent, own
Transcript
dilbert on couch at home: what good is earning money if it costs me my soul? dogbert: well, for one thing, it's the only way you can pay your rent. dilbert: rent? i own this house. dogbert: you really should read the things i ask you to docusign.
Wednesday January 29,
2020
Bring Me Solutions
Tags managers & supervisors, business, solutions, problems, worthless, sarcasm, example
Transcript
boss: i want you to bring me solutions, not problems! dilbert: that's a funny way to call yourself worthless. boss: i do plenty around here! boss: but in the interest of time, i will not list any examples.