Brings Small Meal Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

153 Results for Brings Small Meal

View 1 - 10 results for brings small meal comic strips. Discover the best "Brings Small Meal" comics from Dilbert.com.

Buying Tee Shirts

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Buying Tee Shirts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #clothing, #purchase, #retail, #size, #small, #t-shirt, #home, #shopping

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert and dogbert at home. dilbert: do you like my new t-shirt? it's two sizes too small, but that's all they had. dogbert: wouldn't it be better to buy shirts that you like that are also the right size? dilbert: in theory, yes. but i have been buying t-shirts for years, and i don't recall seeing that option.

Real Men Multitask

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Real Men Multitask  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #software, #software design, #concentrate, #multitask, #distraction, #kill, #error

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: do you ever think about the fact that one small error in your software design could kill hundreds of people? all it would take is some kind of distraction while you are trying to concentrate. dilbert: are you done? boss: a real man could multitask in this situation.

It Already Works

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
It Already Works - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #phone, #nuclear

View Transcript

Transcript

office worker: your so-called "safe" nuclear power invention will never work. dilbert: it already works. i'm charging my phone with it. office worker: i mean, it will never be economical. dilbert: it can power a small city for a dollar per day. office worker: pffft. i'll bet it ends up costing triple that.

Nuclear Power Invention

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Nuclear Power Invention - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #money, #office, #office workers, #nuclear power

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i invented a new type of nuclear power that has zero risk. dilbert: it can be built in one day for less that a thousand dollars and it can power a small city. the boss visually upset and yelling: get that thing out of here! dilbert: i expect it will be hard to sell.

Small Managers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Small Managers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #computer software, #engineering, #frustration, #office workers, #sarcasm, #clients

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I told a customer we would make a small change to the software for them. Dilbert: There are no small software changes, only small managers. Boss: Dang it! Why does that sound so wise!

Wife Starts A Business

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wife Starts A Business - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #entrepreneur, #business, #divorce, #marriage, #assumption, #small business, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: My wife is starting her own business. Carol: I'm sorry to hear that. How many years have you been married? Boss: She's not leaving me. She's starting a business. Carol: Right. Don't talk about Phase 2. Got it.

Mind Reader Coworker

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Mind Reader Coworker - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #paranoia, #body language, #assume, #assumption, #conclusions

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Why do you hate the plan so much? Dilbert: I don't hate the plan. I like the plan. Man: No, I can tell by the way you chose your words that you hate it. Now I can tell by your face that you hate me. Dilbert: You're like a blind squirrel who brings his own nuts to the park.

Dilbert Won't Kill

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Won't Kill - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #morals, #ethics, #self-driving cars, #murder

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Can you program our self-driving car prototype to drive Ted off a bridge so I don't have to fire him? Dilbert: Just because I have the power to kill a person and leave no evidence whatsoever doesn't meal I'll do it. Boss: He says he won't kill anyone. Alice: Crud! Asok: Shoot! Carol: Dang!

One Small Mistake Is Doom

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
One Small Mistake Is Doom  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nervous, #Advice, #fear, #anxiety, #public speaking, #presentation

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Do you have any advice for my presentation to the CEO? Dilbert: Sure. If you make one small mistake, your career will be finished. Asok: You just made me nervous and thus doubled my risk of failure. Dilbert: I'm not the one who brought it up.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #listening, #small talk

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How's work? Dilbert: Well, since you asked... it's like being trapped in a garbage compactor and no one can hear me scream. All my hopes and dreams have died, along with my immune system and my dignity. The only thing keeping me alive is that food tastes good. I tried to escape into my imagination, but I learned I don't have one. My life has no meaning. Each second is a slow-motion ordeal. Why do I get the feeling you weren't listening to any of that? Boss:My day was good too.