Building Apps Comic Strips
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145 Results for Building Apps
View 1 - 10 results for building apps comic strips. Discover the best "Building Apps" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday July 06,
2021
I'm Not A Racist
Tags #business, #sarcasm, #racism, #racist, #woke, #demands, #sacrifice, #spare, #proof
Transcript
dilbert: there's a mob of woke people surrounding our building. they demand a human sacrifice. boss: fetch the spare racist i hired for that purpose. male co-worker hanging from a rod outside top level of office tower: i'm not a racist! really i'm not! voice from inside the building: he can't prove that!
Saturday June 26,
2021
Too Busy To Train
Tags #business, #jobs, #managers & supervisors, #two, #replacement, #quit, #death, #stare, #new, #person, #sarcasm
Transcript
dilbert: i'm working two jobs since ted quit. maybe you could fire a replacement for ted. boss: that won't work because you're too busy to train a new person. panel changes building. voice from building: stop making that death stare and get back to your two jobs.
Wednesday June 23,
2021
Ted Will Train You
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #training, #absence, #coffee, #helpful, #problem, #successful, #sarcasm
Transcript
boss: ask ted to show you how to do his job functions before he leaves for his new job. panel changes to office building. dilbert: what if he isn't helpful? boss: then i'll fire you for failing. panel changes back in office: dilbert: do you see any problem with the approach? boss: no. it's worked for years.
Friday June 18,
2021
Wally Helps The New Guy
Tags #business, #office workers, #training, #new, #employment
Transcript
dilbert: wally, explain to the new guy what he needs to know about the project. wally: our pdr system is downstairs from the qrd data and the bmr, so don't order a gref or else the plr will get boodled. panel shows office building with man jumping out of window, voice: i quit
Monday June 07,
2021
Never Admit You Are Wrong
Tags #business, #office relationships, #wrong, #admit, #pride, #cumulative, #clouds, #speachless, #example
Transcript
tina: you never admit you're wrong. dilbert: give me one example of that. tina: well, for example, there was the time you said there were no such things as "cumulative" clouds. panel changes to office building. tina: to this day, you have not admitted you were wrong. dilbert: um...
Wednesday June 02,
2021
Political Talk
Tags #brainwashed, #business, #harmony, #messaging, #opinions, #partisan politics, #platforms, #political issues, #underinformed
Transcript
catbert in meeting sitting next to wally and dilbert: catbert: our ceo has banned political talk on all employee messaging platforms. it's just as well because you're all brainwashed and underinformed, so your opinions are not worth the spittle that comes with them. panel shows office building. we hope this change will improve internal harmony.
Friday April 09,
2021
Zoom Team Building
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #team, #building, #session, #zoom, #drink, #heavy, #home, #absurd, #gift, #purchase, #laptop, #video call
Transcript
boss: on friday we'll be having a team building session on zoom. you are welcome to drink heavily because you will already be home. dilbert: i don't know how that could be more absurd. boss: and buy a gift for yourself.
Friday December 11,
2020
Trust Coworkers
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #trust, #pretend, #different
Transcript
in office building boss: okay, team. we can get this done if we trust each other. alice: that's not a thing. dilbert: i don't trust any of you. boss: maybe we can pretend. dilbert: i'd need to pretend we're different people.
Friday October 16,
2020
Protesters Surround Building
Tags #face mask, #fire, #lobby, #managers & supervisors, #office building, #protest, #protesters, #sign, #support, #business
Transcript
dilbert and boss looking out office window. dilbert: protesters have surrounded our building. boss: don't worry. i put a supportive sign in the lobby so they'll know we are on their side. dilbert: update: our nine lower floors are on fire. boss: maybe i should have used a bigger sign.
Sunday October 11,
2020
Building Codes
Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #lab, #construction, #building, #codes, #stringent, #guarantee, #rain, #mayor, #campaign, #sarcasm, #face mask, #false, #hope, #phase
Transcript
boss: how's the new lab construction going? dilbert: i'm having some issues with the local building codes. they seem unnecessarily stringent. for example, we have to guarantee no rain touches the roof. boss: why? dilbert: no on knows. but if we donate to the mayor's campaign, the city will designate the roof a "horizontal wall." boss: and then we can begin construction? dilbert: no, that's just the beginnning of the false hope phrase.