Bury Janitor Comic Strips
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40 Results for Bury Janitor
View 1 - 10 results for bury janitor comic strips. Discover the best "Bury Janitor" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday February 26,
2017
Tags #wages, #cost of living, #raise, #money, #rent, #apartment, #roommate, #space
Transcript
Asok: I need a raise because the cost of living around here is too high. Boss: Stop being greedy. I pay you plenty. Asok: I can't even afford to rent an apartment. Boss: Get some roommates. Asok: I can't afford that either. I've been sleeping on a baby changing table in a public restroom. And the janitor has been charging me $3,000 per month for that. Boss: How wide is the baby changing table? Asok: Not wide enough for a roommate. Boss: Well, I'm out of ideas.
Saturday November 19,
2016
Offending The Janitor
Tags #politically correct, #offensive, #language, #misunderstanding
Transcript
Boss: Ted, I have to fire you because you said something that offended the janitor. Ted: What did I say?! Boss: I don't know. The janitor has a thick accent and he's terrible at charades. Elbonian 1: Did you take care of the buy who keeps putting banana peels in the recycling? Elbonian 2: He won't do it again.
Saturday August 13,
2016
Wally And The Lactation Room
Tags #man cave, #coffee, #trick, #lactation room
Transcript
Boss: Someone turned our lactation room into a personal man cave. Wally: That guy sounds awesome. Boss: The janitor found a recliner, a tv,and a coffee maker in there. So I asked myself who would put a coffee maker in a lactation room. Wally: I drink mine black.
Tuesday May 27,
2014
Tags #environmental issues, #batteries discarded, #landfill, #janitor, #trash, #garbage, #recycle
Transcript
Boss: For environmental reasons, all used batteries must be discarded in the special receptacle in the break room. When it's full, the janitor will dump it into the regular trash and take it to the landfill. Dilbert: Maybe we could ask him not to. Boss: No one know what language he speaks.
Saturday April 21,
2012
Tags #bury, #top secret, #proprietary, #documents, #woods, #shovel, #tied up, #mumble
Transcript
Boss: I need you to bury some top secret proprietary documents in the woods for me. Man: Mmm mmph. Boss: Come back in ten minutes.
Friday April 20,
2012
Tags #business ethics, #competitors network, #elbonians, #bribe blogger, #limited capacity, #self control, #bury in woods
Transcript
Boss: Can you hack into our competitor's network and make it look as if the Elbonians did it? Dilbert: No. Boss: Can you bribe a blogger to write good things about our company? Dilbert: No. Boss: Now that I've worn down your limited capacity for self-control, I need you to bury something in the woods, no questions asked. Dilbert: Fine.
Thursday December 01,
2011
Tags #obliviousness, #obstinacy, #office workers, #whiteboard, #conference room, #prohject timeline, #zombie reflex mode
Transcript
Dilbert: Don't clean the whiteboard in the conference room. It has my project timeline. Janitor: I can't promise that. I slip into a sort of zombie reflex mode when I do this job. Dilbert: I envy you. Janitor: Would you like a few minutes to say goodbye to your timeline?
Friday September 10,
2010
Tags #cleaning, #janitor, #crime scene, #overalls, #shut down, #assistant, #ratbert, #human body parts, #recycling bins, #frankenstein
Transcript
The Boss says, "We need to shut down our crime scene cleaning division." The Boss says, "Apparently your assistant, Ratbert, has been putting human remains in the recycling bins." Dilbert says, "That's a harmless mistake. What's the worst thing that could happen?"
Thursday September 09,
2010
Tags #cleaning, #janitor, #crime scene, #overalls, #assistant, #feet in air, #dead body, #mop, #duct tape
Transcript
Crime Scene Cleaning Dilbert says, "There's no budget for a mop or cleaning supplies." Dilbert says, "All I have is this pole and you." Ratbert says, "You could duct tape me to the pole." Dilbert says, "Yup. If we had duct tape."
Wednesday September 08,
2010
Tags #cleaning, #janitor, #crime scene, #overalls, #assistant, #excited, #squeegee, #brains
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Ratbert, would you like to be my assistant in the crime scene cleaning profession?" Ratbert says, "Me?!" Ratbert says, "You had me at 'brains and squeegees.'" Dilbert says, "I didn't say any of those words." Ratbert says, "Would it kill you to say them now?" Dilbert says, "If it does, you can clean me up."