Buying Friends Comic Strips

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131 Results for Buying Friends

View 1 - 10 results for buying friends comic strips. Discover the best "Buying Friends" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dlbert Prefers The Pandemic

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Dlbert Prefers The Pandemic  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #health & safety, #pandemic, #end, #meet, #new, #people, #focus, #friends, #prefer

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dilbert and dogbert on a walk. dilbert: i don't want the pandemic to end because i kind of prefer not meeting new people. dogbert: don't focus on the end of the pandemic. maybe it's really about the friends you didn't make along the way.

Buying Tee Shirts

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Buying Tee Shirts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #clothing, #purchase, #retail, #size, #small, #t-shirt, #home, #shopping

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dilbert and dogbert at home. dilbert: do you like my new t-shirt? it's two sizes too small, but that's all they had. dogbert: wouldn't it be better to buy shirts that you like that are also the right size? dilbert: in theory, yes. but i have been buying t-shirts for years, and i don't recall seeing that option.

A Feeling You Are Doing It Wrong

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A Feeling You Are Doing It Wrong  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #correct, #friends, #mistakes, #sarcasm, #technology, #watch, #wrong

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dilbert: i have a feeling you are doing something wrong, but i don't know what. do you mind if i watch over your shoulder and look for mistakes as you make them? coworker: you don't have friends, do you? dilbert: i like to travel light.

Sincere Friends

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Sincere Friends - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #relationship, #business, #social media, #friend, #hard, #times, #zoned, #insincere

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dilbert: in hard times, you really find out who your friends are. dogbert: i assume you have hundreds of friends by now because of all the times you have been friend-zoned. dilbert: i'm starting to think they were insincere.

Appearing In Photos

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Appearing In Photos - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #co-workers, #technology, #social media, #friends, #Opinion, #abhor, #person, #characteristics, #jerk

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tina: i can't be your friend because i saw a disturbing photo of you on social media. you were in a group photo with a person whose opinions i abhor. dilbert: can you explain why that makes me a bad person? tina: sure. duh. when you appear in photos with other people, you acquire their bad characteristics. dilbert: i don't think that's how it works. tina: that's exactly how it works! one photo with a jerk makes you a jerk! case closed! dilbert taking selfie with Tina in background: smile. tina upset: no-ooo!!!

Magazine Article

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Magazine Article - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #publication, #salesman, #advertisement, #best, #company, #decision

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magazine salesman: our publication is considering naming your company one of the best places to work. on a totally unrelated topic, our sales team will be contacting you about buying lots and lots of advertisements. boss: and if we don't? magazine salesman: who would want to work at a company that makes such bad decisions?

Blaming Climate Change

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Blaming Climate Change  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #support, #calls, #product, #flaw, #climate, #change, #Environment

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dilbert: how are the tech support calls going? dogbert: great. i'm blaming all of our product flaws on climate change, and people are totally buying it. dilbert: that doesn't make sense. dogbert: you'd be surprised how little that matters.

Beg And Pay Store

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Beg And Pay Store - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #buying, #selling, #begging, #internet

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dogbert: i'm opening a beg-and-pay store. dilbert: what will you be selling? dogbert: selling? dogbert: you are way behind the times. dogbert: stores don't sell things anymore. dogbert: selling would require good customer service and lots of stock on hand. dogbert: if you want that sort of thing, use the internet. dogbert: i just want a place where people can go and beg me to sell them stuff that isn't in stock. office worker: can you help me find this hat in my size? dogbert: beg!!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #Food, #friends, #office, #office workers

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Man: I'm a foodie. Are you foodie too? Dilbert: I think of food as fuel. Man: But you enjoy eating good food, right? Dilbert: I try to avoid food that tastes good. That way, I won't overeat. I usually just check my plate for any stray bandages, and that's about it. If my food passes that test, I shovel it toward my mouth while reading stuff on my phone. Man: I don't think I can be your friend. Dilbert: That worked out better than I hoped.

Social Media Ads To Influence

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Social Media Ads To Influence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #brain-reading, #computer, #social media, #profile, #friends, #testing, #influence, #cyborg, #ridiculous, #phone

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Dilbert: My brain-reading computer is checking your social media profile and finding your friends. I am now testing social media posts to see which ones influence them to recommend that to you date a cyborg. Woman: That's the most ridiculous thing I have ever. Dilbert: check your phone.