Can O Matic Comic Strips

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88 Results for Can O Matic

View 1 - 10 results for can-o-matic comic strips. Discover the best "Can O Matic" comics from Dilbert.com.

Bias For Action

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Bias For Action - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #co-workers, #business, #meeting, #prototype, #bias

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Co-workers around meeting table. Ted: our pointy-haired boss told us to scrap our prototype and start over from scratch. dilbert: o was in that meeting and he said nothing like that. maybe we should verify what he wants. ted: or... we could have a bias for action!

Court Of Stupidity

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Court Of Stupidity - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #legal, #court, #lawyer, #stupidity, #appeal, #bailiff

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dilbert at table with dogbert: my boss is accusing me o not knowing what he was thinking. i need you to be my lawyer and handle my appeal to the court of stupidity. court of stupidity the court rules in favor of the bailiff.

Spelling Crypto Wrong

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Spelling Crypto Wrong - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 08, 2019's comic on:


Tags #argument, #boss, #frustrated, #learning, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #spelling, #words

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Dilbert: You spelled "crypto" wrong. Boss: No, I didn't. Dilbert: You spelled it "c-r-i-p-t-o". Boss: So? Dilbert: There is no "I" in crypto. Boss: That's how I learned to spell it. Dilbert: You learned it wrong. No one else spells it that way. Boss: Now you're criticizing me for being an inovator? Dilbert: It's not innovation! It's a mistake! Why can't you admit you are wrong?! Boss: Why can't you?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 14, 2014's comic on:


Tags #ability to focus, #painful, #rewired brain, #thinking, #change topic

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Wally: The distractions of the digital age have rewired my brain and ruined my ability to focus. Now I find it painful to dwell on any topic for longer than five seconds. Boss: Let's talk about this. Wally: No-o-o! Change the topic!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 2013's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #new procurement policy, #p.o.o.p., #thinking, #business

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Boss: It took us three days at the executive retreat to come up with a name for our new procurement policy. We named it the "Procurement Operations Oversight Policy." Dilbert: P.O.O.P.? Boss: Do you know how many managers it takes to come up with a good name? Dilbert: A few more than you had?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #powerpoint, #waste time, #slow motion, #read, #project emu, #tie, #pull, #yank, #strangle, #business

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Man says, "I could've e-mailed you my powerpoint deck, and you could have read it in five minutes." Man says, "But I prefer making you sit here for an hour while I read each bullet point in slow motion." Man says, "P-o-i-n-t n-u-m-b-e-r o-n-e?" Wally says, "Yank this as hard as you can."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 2008's comic on:


Tags #copy document, #less valuable, #copy boy

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The Boss: I need someone to make ten copies of this document. Asok: Is there any risk that performing this task will make me appear less valuable? The Boss: I need someone to tell copy boy to get to work. Asok: Erk o"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 10, 2007's comic on:


Tags #tall pants, #traditional hair, #unholy allaince, #military industrial complex, #attack allies

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Dogbert: I'll need more than tall pants and traditional looking hair to get elected to president. "I'm hoping to form an unholy alliance with the military industrial complex." "You're willing to attack allies?" Dogbeert: "It's the highest R.O.I."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 2007's comic on:


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My soul-o-meter is picking up a reincarnated soul. It looks like you had several previous lives. "I'll cauterize your head so your soul stays in your dead body next time." zzzt!!! "Because I can."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 2007's comic on:


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"According to my Soul-o-Meter, you still have 1% of your soul." "I'll give you a doughnut for it." "Sold." "It's funny how quickly a good day can become a great day."