Capital Of Japan Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

38 Results for Capital Of Japan

View 1 - 10 results for capital of japan comic strips. Discover the best "Capital Of Japan" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ratio Is Too High

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ratio Is Too High - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #expense, #budget, #capital, #ratio, #too high, #afford, #standards, #historical, #irrelevant, #manage, #department

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: we need to reduce our expense budget to 40% of our capital budget. dilbert: why do we need to do that? boss: because the ratio is too high. dilbert: are you saying we can't afford it? boss: no. i'm saying the ratio is too high. dilbert: okay, but by what standard is it "too high"? boss: by historical standards, it has never been this high. dilbert: i don't think we want to start using an irrelevant ratio to manage the department. boss: to be fair, this is just the first time you noticed.

Elbonian Factory Problem

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonian Factory Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #report, #factory, #elbonia, #problem, #lost, #power, #main, #floor, #employees, #scared, #trip, #dark, #gas, #line, #accident, #crater, #capital, #explosion, #unsympathetic

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: we have some problems in our elbonian factory. boss: how bad? dilbert: they lost power on the main floor. boss: that's not so bad. dilbert: the employees were scared. boss: they'll get over it. dilbert: one of them tripped in the dark. boss: big deal. dilbert: he accidentally opened a gas line. boss: a little gas never hurt anyone. dilbert: now there's a crater where the capital city used to be. boss and dilbert just looking at each other boss: let's keep an eye on that.

Initial Coin Offering

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Initial Coin Offering  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ico, #cryptocurrency, #bitcoin, #jargon, #language

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Maybe we should do an initial coin offering, or ICO. Boss: What's that? Dilbert: It's a non-equity process for raising capital that uses a custom crypto-currency and the blockchain. I might be wasting my time here. Boss: So... it's a chain made out of coins?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bureaucracy, #paperwork, #form, #request, #convoluted

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I need a capital allocation form. Man: Do you have a form to request that form? Dilbert; I need a form to get a form? Man: That's how we keep track of the forms. Dilbert: Okay, give me a form to request a form. Man: Those are online. Dilbert: Where online? Man: I don't know. I only do paper forms. Dilbert: Who can I ask? Man: Don't drag me into this. Dilbert: I demand to talk to your boss. Man: I hope you brought a boss request form.

Get Multiple Approvals

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Get Multiple Approvals - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers, #problems, #work, #frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You need to get your capital budget approved by all of the department heads. We're in the middle of a reorg, so get approval from both the outgoing and the incoming managers. Dilbert: Someday I hope to solve a problem that is not caused by leadership. Boss: You'll never get that far.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #financial, #jargon, #money, #accounting, #language

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I think it is important for every employee to understand our company's income statement. I don't have time to get into all of the details, so I'll hit the high points. Compared to last year... our ebida have been amortized over an accrued market discount. Meanwhile, our capital account liabilities have a pass-through income that is far larger than our on-time costs. And the mome raths outgrabe. Too far? Dilbert: I wasn't listening.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #secreatry, #booked flight, #smog, #hardened, #machete, #hack tunnel, #asthma attack, #treatment

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I booked you flight to the polluted capital of Albania. Their smog has hardened into a sold. use this machete to hack a tunnel through it. If you have an asthma attack the treatment is the same as for a sea urchin sting. YOu'll need to urinate on your lungs.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #10 million, #cloud start up, #social media, #venture capital, #location based, #flattering, #investment, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Venture Capital Dogbert: I need $100,000 for my location-based, social media, could start-up. Coworker: I'm not giving you $100,000 just because you spewed some buzz-words. Dogbert: The how about $10 million? Coworker: Wait... now it sounds like a good investment. How did you do that? Dogbert: I can tell you, but it won't be flattering.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new product development, #stock buy back, #stock market, #dream, #using capitol, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I'm canceling all of our new product development and using the capital for a stock buy-back. Dilbert: This is a dream come true because I always wanted to be like you. CEO: In what way are you... Dilbert: Yay! I'm worthless!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #radiation, #capital for testing, #handset radiation, #tumor, #stan

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Which one of you asked for capital for testing handset radiation, Dilbert: That was Stan. and you told him to find a less expensive way to do it. The Boss: which one of you is Stan?