Care About Job Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Care About Job

View 1 - 10 results for care about job comic strips. Discover the best "Care About Job" comics from Dilbert.com.

Marriage Takes Work

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Marriage Takes Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #communication, #marriage, #talk, #bigot, #job, #gay, #homosexual, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: before we get married, we need to talk about a few things. first, i'm only marrying you to prove i'm not a bigot and to save my job. second, neither of us is gay. elbonian man: they say marriage takes work.

Marrying An Elbonian

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Marrying An Elbonian  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #elbonia, #accusations, #marriage, #plan, #job, #name, #sarcasm, #bigot

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert and dogbert on couch at home. dilbert: people at work accused me of being bigoted against elbonian men, so i'm marrying one to prove them wrong and keep my job. dogbert: what's his name? dilbert: i think it's something like gluppfril or breemf. dogbert: sounds like a solid plan.

Dick Tells A Rumor

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dick Tells A Rumor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #workplace, #coworkers, #people, #gossip, #malice, #slander, #pointless, #pain, #nemesis, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

dick: hi, i'm dick, your workplace nemesis. dilbert: i know who you are. dick: people are saying terrible things about you behind your back, but i can't tell you who they are or what they are saying. dilbert: what is the point of telling me that? dick: have i mentioned i feed on your pain.

Dilbert Gets A Nemesis

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Gets A Nemesis  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #files, #nemesis, #assigned, #prevent, #successful, #job, #loptop

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert and boss on video call. boss: i checked my files, and i see no nemesis has been assigned to you. dilbert: why do i need a nemesis? boss: it prevents you from being successful enough to take my job. dilbert: okay, that makes sense.

Wally Takes A Sick Day

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Takes A Sick Day - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #video call, #laptop, #sick day, #work, #unwell, #sick, #work from home, #coffee, #lazy

View Transcript

Transcript

boss and wally on video call. wally: i'm not feeling well, so i'm going to take the day off from work. boss: you work at home. and you'll be just as sick whether you work or not, so why not work? wally: i don't know if you know this about me, but i don't like working.

Dlbert Prefers The Pandemic

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dlbert Prefers The Pandemic  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #health & safety, #pandemic, #end, #meet, #new, #people, #focus, #friends, #prefer

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert and dogbert on a walk. dilbert: i don't want the pandemic to end because i kind of prefer not meeting new people. dogbert: don't focus on the end of the pandemic. maybe it's really about the friends you didn't make along the way.

Dogbert Is Selective

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Is Selective - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #consultant, #crisis, #selective, #client, #jail, #Advice, #folksy, #wisdom

View Transcript

Transcript

title: dogbert the crisis consultant. dilbert and dogbert on a walk. dogbert: i'm very selective about my clients. that's because clients who take my advice usually end up in jail. so i only take clients i hate. dilbert: i like your folksy wisdom.

Dogbert Crisis Consultant

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Crisis Consultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #subordinates, #allegations, #crisis, #consultant, #statement, #lying, #dumb, #believe, #public, #legal, #defense

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: my job as a crisis consultant is to help you respond to the allegations from seventy-three of your past and present subordinates. i'll issue a statement from you saying everyone of them is lying. ceo: who would be dumb enough to believe that? dogbert: i call them "the public."

Ceo Is Accused

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Is Accused  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #complaint, #managers & supervisors, #subordinate, #accuse, #inappropriate, #crime, #hug, #defense, #legal

View Transcript

Transcript

catbert: seventy-three subordinates are accusing you of inappropriate behavior. ceo: i don't see what's so "inappropriate" about threatening to ruin a subordinate's career unless i get a hug. catbert: you know that's a crime, right? ceo: maybe i shouldn't handle my own defense.

Wally's Advice

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #audience, #business, #complain, #connection, #droopy, #emotion, #emotional intelligence, #Entertainment, #hate, #medical, #persuasive, #problems, #sad, #sarcasm, #self-deprecating, #slide deck, #spouse, #technology, #tragic, #wife

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: if there anything i can do to make my slide deck more persuasive? wally: you need to make an emotional connection with your audience. start with a tragic personal story that makes everyone sad and droopy. then talk about your various medical problems, and don't spare the details. then complain about your wife because most people hate their spouses too, so they can relate. and don't spare the self-deprecating humor because everyone can relate to knowing you are a loser. boss: wow. thank you for that advice. i'll make those changes. dilbert: how much do you hate him? wally: it's more about my entertainment.