Cash Fow Comic Strips

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47 Results for Cash Fow

View 1 - 10 results for cash fow comic strips. Discover the best "Cash Fow" comics from Dilbert.com.

Pat Yourself On The Head

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Pat Yourself On The Head - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 29, 2017's comic on:


Tags #reward, #prizes, #reimbursement, #expense report

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Boss: I'm naming you employee of the month. Your prize is twenty dollars cash and a pat on the head. Give yourself twenty dollars and submit an employee reimbursement request. Dilbert: Can I pat myself on the head, too? Boss: I was hoping you would offer.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 2015's comic on:


Tags #sales, #price, #prices, #bidding, #bid, #blackmail, #business

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Dilbert: This is not the deal we agreed on. Man: I forgot a few things on the first estimate, but you need them. Dilbert: I only picked you because you had the lowest price. Man: Yes, but not the vendor selection is done and it would be too much trouble for you to start over. It might even damage your career because you delayed the project. You could go to the second-highest bidder, but those guys would do the same thing to you. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! I have no choice! This is blackmail, not commerce! Man: We call it "sales." I'll need all the cash in your wallet, too.

World's Greatest Economist

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World's Greatest Economist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2015's comic on:


Tags #coincidence, #deception, #economist, #economy, #money, #random jargon, #art, #science

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Dilbert: You are being hailed as the best economist of our age because your random jargon turned out to mean something. Wally: That's nice, but as a professional economist, I only care if there is a cash award. Dilbert: The world's greatest economist should already be rich. Wally: It's more art than science.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 2013's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #replacing system, #outdated, #gamification, #hot new trend, #employees wins, #badges, #ribbons, #awrds, #cash value, #garbage, #emotional value

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Boss: We're replacing our outdated system of annual performance reviews. The new system is called Gramification. It's a hot new trend. Employees can win badges, ribbons, and awards for completing tasks. Dilbert: Can we opt for the cash value of those badges, ribbons, and awards? Boss: They don't have any cash value. Dilbert: Oh. Like garbage? Boss: No, not like garbage! Except in the narrow sense of having no functional, economic, or emotional value. Garbage is something you throw away. Dilbert: Hand me an award and watch carefully.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 03, 2012's comic on:


Tags #prosperity, #cash cow, #cow, #making money, #utter

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Dilbert: Hey, you must be the cash cow I keep hearing about. You must be making cash right now! Cash Cow: It doesn't work every time.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2011's comic on:


Tags #air travel, #cash payment, #college freind, #cost & standard of living, #expensive, #friendship, #relationships

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Tina says, "My best friend from college keeps bugging me to visit her. The flight will cost a small fortune." Dilbert says, "Try offering her a cash payment of half the estimated cost of the trip if she agrees to stop inviting you." Tina says, "You don't have any friends, do you?" Dilbert says, "I hear they're expensive."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 2010's comic on:


Tags #ceo, #incompetent, #dogbert investment bank, #shareholder, #bribe, #merger, #unwise, #commission, #best seller, #read, #jail

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Dogbert says, "You're an incompetent CEO, but the Dogbert Investment Bank can help you pretend to unlock shareholder value." Dogbert says, "I'll arrange an unwise merger so you can cash out while I collect an obscene commission." Dogbert says, "It's like a bribe, but instead of going to jail, a stranger will write a bestselling book with your name on it." CEO says, "Can I read it?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 02, 2009's comic on:


Tags #greed, #ceo, #retiring, #placeholder, #corpse, #podium

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Dogbert says, "I'm stepping down as CEO because I already milked all of the cash out of the this dying cow." Dogbert says, "My replacement is a dried-up corpse. But don't worry; he's just a placeholder until a new CEO can be found." The Boss says, "The faint breeze is blowing away his head." Dogerbt says, "You should probably hurry."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 2009's comic on:


Tags #retirement, #planning, #greed, #celebrating, #layoffs

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "I'm nearing retirement, so fire the research and development group." Dogbert says, "The cost cutting will goose my stock options so I can cash out before the death spiral." The boss says, "Please don't make the noise." Dogbert says, "Too late! Cha-Ching!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 2008's comic on:


Tags #stepping down, #ceo, #money stolen, #hellhole, #huge bag of cash, #helicopter, #writes book, #buy book

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Dogbert says, "I am stepping down as CEO so I can spend more time with this money I stole from this hellhole." Dogbert says, "I need you and you to carry huge bags of cash to my helicopter." Wally says, "The worst part is that if he ever writes a book, I'll probably buy it."