Catbert Hr Driector Comic Strips

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638 Results for Catbert Hr Driector

View 1 - 10 results for catbert hr driector comic strips. Discover the best "Catbert Hr Driector" comics from Dilbert.com.

Bad Attitude

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Bad Attitude - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 17, 2019's comic on:


Tags #big business, #complaining, #employees, #obliviousness, #attitude

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Catbert: I need to talk to you about your bad attitude. Dilbert: I'm surrounded by useless idiots, and I work in a fabric-covered box. How can I have a good attitude? Catbert: Oh, good. I was hoping it would be something I couldn't fix.

Centralizing The Decentralized

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Centralizing The Decentralized - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm, #value

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Boss: I need to randomly change something so it seems as if being a manager is a real job. Maybe I should centralize all the functions I decentralized last year. Catbert: Or you could find a way to add value. Boss: I'm not magic.

Bad Denials

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Bad Denials - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #spying, #elbonia

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ceo: have you confirmed that the cyber attacks are coming from elbonia? dilbert: no. ceo: i guess that means you are on their side. dilbert: what? catbert: what proof do you have that dilbert is a spy? ceo: he didn't deny it the way I think he should have.

Engineers Don't Lie

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Engineers Don't Lie - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #office, #office workers, #ceo

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the boss: i saw dilbert talking to the ceo. i think he's trying to undermine me. catbert: engineers don't lie. the boss: that's what worries me.

Wally And The Management Track

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Wally And The Management Track - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers

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wally: how can i get on the management track? catbert: are you kidding me? catbert: you are the most useless employee i have ever seen. all you do is walk around and bother people who are trying to work. wally: are you saying i can't get on the management track? catbert: i'm saying you're already on it.

Twizzle The Flurm

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Twizzle The Flurm - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 2019's comic on:


Tags #confused, #employees, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #office workers

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Boss: The engineers think I don't understand what they do all day. Catbert: Maybe it's because you don't. Boss: You too? Wally: My project is late because I had to twizzle the flurm. Boss: Okay, that sounds right.

Alice Gets Mandatory Training

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Alice Gets Mandatory Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 2018's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #office workers, #punishment, #threat

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Alice: I can't work with old Ned. He's a sexist, racist, bigoted troglodyte. Catbert: Name-calling is not allowed in this company. I sentence you to three weeks of mandatory training. Alice: I could trangle you with your own tail. Catbert: Six weeks!

Soaring With The Eagles

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Soaring With The Eagles - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 19, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #inspiration

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Boss: The inspirational poster I put in the break room isn't working. I asked around and no one is soaring with the eagles. Catbert: Is the poster defective? Boss: That's the only explanation that makes sense.

Keeping The Worthless People

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Keeping The Worthless People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 07, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #salary, #incompetence

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Boss: I've noticed that 20% of my employees do 80% of the work around here. But I need to keep all of the worthless employees because my pay is based on how many people report to me. Catbert: Doesn't their incompetence bother you? Boss: Not since I found a way to get paid for it.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 18, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #engineering, #frustration, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #work, #schedule

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Dilbert: I finished coding the new feature. Boss: What took you so long? Dilbert: It took as long as it needed to take. Boss: You're behind schedule. Dilbert: I'm not the one who created the schedule! That was you!!! Maybe you should fire yourself for being so bad at making schedules. Boss: That's not how it works! Dilbert: What does that even mean? Boss: They're starting to catch on that most of what I say doesn't mean anything.