Ceiling Comic Strips
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Character
28 Results for Ceiling
View 1 - 10 results for ceiling comic strips. Discover the best "Ceiling" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday February 26,
2020
Ceo In Cubicle
Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #private, #office, #cubicle, #common, #work, #employees
Transcript
eco: i've decided to give up my private office and work from a cubicle so employees will respect me more. my cubicle will be 1,000 square feet, with a ceiling. dilbert: that's called an office. eco: nothing pleases you common folk.
Sunday November 11,
2018
Tags #boss, #cost, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #ladder, #waste
Transcript
Boss: Do you know where I can find a ladder? Dilbert: I can help you with that, but it will come at a big cost. It took me all morning to finally get "in the zone" to figure out this bug. Your interruption will set me back to square one and cost an entire day of productivity. Meanwhile, the rest of the team can't do their work because they are waiting for me to fix this bug first. So yes, I can help you find a ladder. But it will cost the company about $12,000 in lost productivity. I hope you have a good reason to need a ladder. Boss: I do. Ten minutes earlier. Boss: I wonder what ceiling tiles feel like.
Tuesday September 22,
2015
Alice Should Network With Men
Tags #catch-22, #sexism, #Women, #sexist, #attraction, #success, #glass ceiling
Transcript
CEO: Alice, the best way to break the glass ceiling is to do more networking with male co-workers. Alice: Can we talk about this over lunch? CEO: Wow. You are so into me.
Friday September 03,
2010
Tags #company lawyer, #recall, #poisonous spines, #shake hands, #quality assurance, #arms out
Transcript
Company Lawyer Lawyer says, "We should consider doing a recall on our product." Lawyer says, "When it warms up, it explodes and hurls poisonous spines in every direction." The Boss says, "Where's the director of quality assurance?" Lawyer says, "Pinned to the test lab ceiling."
Friday April 03,
2009
Tags #angry, #frustrated, #annoyed, #stupidity
Transcript
Overqualified temp Overqualified temp says, "I have completed all of my menial assignments." Overqualified temp says, "Do you have any more trivial tasks to crush my sense of self-worth?" The boss says, "I've always wondered how many ceiling tiles are in the men's restroom." Overqualified temp thinks, "Die! Die! Die!"
Wednesday February 28,
2007
Tags #asbestos, #ceiling, #danger, #telekinesis, #neutralized, #never ask, #curious
Transcript
Wally: They found asbestos in our ceiling. We're all in danger. Asok: "I must use my telekinesis to remove the asbestos." "GAAA!" The threat has been neutralized. You must never ask me how it was done." Wally: I'm not even curious."
Tuesday February 27,
2007
Tags #employees, #asbestos, #ceiling, #wasn't dangerous, #hazmat suit, #not fair, #judge, #clothes, #business, #legal
Transcript
The Boss: The employees are getting all whiney about the asbestos in the ceiling." "I told them it wasn't dangerous, but apparently I'm not credible in this HazMat suit." "I don't think it's fair that they judge me by my clothes."
Monday February 26,
2007
Tags #asbestos, #ceiling, #no worries, #disturbed, #plan to be disturbed
Transcript
The Boss: The facilities people tell me there's asbestos in the ceiling. They say you don't need to worry about it unless it gets disturbed. They plan to disturb it today.
Thursday September 16,
2004
Tags #enormous brain, #world changing, #no pay, #no cubilce, #cling to ceiling, #interviews well
Transcript
"If you hire me, I will use my enormous brain to develop world-changing products." "I require no pay and no cubicle. I will eat used paper, and cling to the ceiling." The Boss: "In my defense, he interviews very well." "Zzzz."
Friday August 13,
2004
Tags #low pay, #lowest paid, #blame, #no one left, #aliens, #illegal
Transcript
Tina: "I just saw a list of everyone's salary." "I thought the glass ceiling was holding me down, but you have the highest pay here." "There's no one left to blame for my low pay except... Ooh, wait... How about illegal aliens?"