Cents Comic Strips

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17 Results for Cents

View 1 - 10 results for cents comic strips. Discover the best "Cents" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #walmart, #front, #ideas, #annoyed, #greeters, #business

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The Boss says, "Walmart started selling a knockoff of our product for nine cents apiece." The Boss says, "I'm looking for ideas. Anyone? Anyone?" Wally says, "They'll need more greeters."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 2005's comic on:


Tags #estate plan, #fastest worker, #flashback, #lawyer, #will, #legal

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i was the worlds fastest worker. My big mistake was becoming a lawyer, Flashback: Do you think I need an estate plan? Heres your will and heres my bill for 9 cents,

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 08, 2002's comic on:


Tags #mordac, #information services, #exceeded, #server storage limit, #double storage space, #mystique, #25 cents, #preventer of info

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Mordac says to Alice, "I am Mordac The Preventor of Information Services. You have exceeded your server storage limit." Alice hands Mordac a quarter and says, "Here's 25 cents so you can afford to double my storage space." Mordac walks away, looks at the quarter in his hand, and thinks, "I think my mystique just took a hit."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 25, 1998's comic on:


Tags #improve communications, #two pennies, #give two cents worth, #cute, #avoid seeing boss, #pretend dead, #nickel

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The Boss enters Alice's cubicle and says, "In order to improve communications..." Alice says, "Please don't." The Boss says, "Every morning I'll give you two pennies." The Boss holds out the change and says, "Every afternoon, you return them and 'give me your two cents' worth.'" The Boss stares at Alice and says, "Get it? It's cute." Alice asks, "So I get to keep the money if I avoid seeing you?" The Boss stands and holds his hands together. Alice continues, "How much will you pay me to avoid your voice mail too?" Alice leans over the wall of the cubicle and calls after the Boss, "I'll pretend you're dead for a nickel." The Boss says, "I hate them all."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 16, 1998's comic on:


Tags #woman paid 75 cents, #every dollar men, #highest paid engineer, #average woman, #problem

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Tina the tech writer says, "I just read that the average woman is paid 75 cents for every dollar that men make. It's an outrage!" Alice sits at her computer and grimaces. Alice says, "I'm the highest paid engineer in the company." Tina looks comfused and says, "That's impossible. The article says, 'Average women' earn less." Alice says, "Suddenly, the problem comes into focus."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 19, 1996's comic on:


Tags #consultant, #highly paid, #150 per hour, #ideal career, #unproductive, #business

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Ratbert leans on Wally's monitor and says, "As a consultant, I earn $150 per hour even when I'm unproductive." Ratbert continues, "I can earn 42 cents by wiggling my furry little behind for ten seconds." Ratbert shouts, "C'mon, count with me!!!" Wally tells Dilbert, "When I imagine my ideal career, it's never like this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 14, 1996's comic on:


Tags #making personal calls, #stealing, #fist of death, #eighty cents, #talk to family, #bill for overtime, #being competetive, #office supplies

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Alice sits at her desk. The Boss enters and says, "According to this phone bill, you've been making personal calls." The Boss continues, "That's like stealing from the company, Alice." Alice clenches her teeth, holds her fist and thinks, "Must . . . Control . . . Fist . . . Of . . . Death . . ." Alice looks at the telephone bill and says, "I only spent eighty cents to tell my family I was working late." Alice says, "Here's a dollar. The extra twenty cents is for the personal thought that I'm about to have on company time." Alice closes her eyes and imagines the Boss tied up with rope. She pictures handing him a stick of dynamite. Alice says, "And here's my bill for $40,000 in unpaid overtime that the company stole from me." The Boss replies, "That's not stealing; that's being competitive." Alice says, "I think I'll be competitive with a few bushels of office supplies later today."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 1996's comic on:


Tags #software development work, #impoverished nation, #elbonia, #high quality code, #no risk, #red alert.elbonia, #be computer tomorrow

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "I moved our software development work to the impoverished nation of Elbonia." The Boss continues, "I'm brilliant. They write high-quality code for six cents a day! There's no risk!" Dilbert thinks, "Red alert!" In Elbonia, an Elbonian wearing a box on his head says, "Tomorrow, YOU be the computer." Another Elbonian stands in front of him pretending to type on a keyboard.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 04, 1995's comic on:


Tags #dogbert the consultant, #relocate russia, #hire engineers, #weed out dumb, #like heaven

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Pointing to a map, Dogbert tells the Boss, "Your best bet is to relocate the company to Russia." Dogbert continues, "You can hire engineers for two cents a year!" The Boss asks, "Is it difficult to weed out the dumb ones?" Dogbert says, "No. And that leads me into the good news about their occupational safety laws." The Boss says, "It's like heaven!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 04, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #electron hut, #p-connect, #adapter, #shelf, #salesman, #computer

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Dilbert walks into a computer store called the "Electron Hut." Dilbert tells the salesman, "I'm looking for a p-connect adapter post." The clerk replies, "We don't have any." Dilbert points to the wall and says, "There's a whole shelf of them right behind you." The salesclerk replies, "They're only five cents apiece. I can't waste my time selling them." Dilbert says, "I'm the only customer in the store! Besides, why do you stock something you don't want to sell?" The clerk throws the posts at Dilbert's head and says, "Here! Take three! And stop wasting my time!" Dilbert kneels on the floor and picks up the posts. The salesman asks, "While you're here, have you seen our fine line of computers?"