Ceo Plans Comic Strips

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View 1 - 10 results for ceo plans comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo Plans" comics from Dilbert.com.

C Level Sacrifice

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C Level Sacrifice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #political issues, #stock market, #technology, #brand, #board, #fire, #Politics, #ruin, #human, #sacrifice, #chief technology officer, #performance, #employment

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catbert: the board wants to fire you for speaking out about politics and ruining our brand. ceo: ask if they'll accept a c-level human sacrifice instead. catbert: they said yes. ceo: now fire my cto and tell him it's something about his performance.

Ceo Speaks Out

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Ceo Speaks Out - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #political issues, #stock, #stock market, #plunged, #voice, #injustice, #bonus, #million, #dollars, #Advice

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catbert: our stock plunged 30% because you spoke out on a political issue. ceo: no one can silence my voice when i see a great injustice. catbert: this will cost you your entire bonus of $10 million. ceo: what if i agree to never speak again?

Elbonian Sweat Shops

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Elbonian Sweat Shops - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #ignorance, #blowback, #press release, #condemn, #elbonia, #sweatshop, #issue, #products, #defense

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boss: we're getting major blowback on social media for your press release condemning elbonian sweatshop labor. ceo: it's an important issue. boss: it's also how we make all of our products. ceo: in my defense, someone should have told me that.

Make Us Look Good

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Make Us Look Good - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #press release, #company, #support, #social, #issues, #complaining, #awesome, #research, #appearances

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ceo: write a press release saying our company supports whatever social issues people are griping about lately. tina: does it matter which issues i pick? ceo: nah. just make us look awesome. tina: should i research the issues first? ceo: are you trying to not get the point?

Ceo Wants To Get Involved In Politics

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Ceo Wants To Get Involved In Politics  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #political issues, #Politics, #stock market, #technology, #company, #controversial, #predict, #impact, #drop, #earnings, #stock, #sell, #involvement

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ceo: i've decided our company needs to get more involved in controversial politics. dilbert: wouldn't the predictable impact of that be a huge drop in our earnings? ceo: no, no. people will love us for getting involved. dilbert: can you at least hold off until i sell all of my stock.

Boss Isn't Fair

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Boss Isn't Fair - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #video call, #project, #fair, #repeating, #bump, #head

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dilbert and ceo on video call. dilbert: it isn't fair that alice gets all the best projects. boss: and what's your point? dilbert: it's not fair. boss: you already said that. dilbert: you should do something to make it more fair. boss: why? dilbert: because it's not fair? boss: did you bump your head?

Ceo Missing

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Ceo Missing  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #covid-19, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #video call, #ceo, #pandemic, #virus, #lonely, #zoom

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dilbert on video call. dilbert: has anyone herd from our ceo since the pandemic started? voices from the laptop: maybe the virus got him. no. not me. next frame has ceo thinking in another location: well, it looks like another lonely day of looking for the zoom button.

Nickname For Dilbert

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Nickname For Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #ceo, #nickname, #geek, #insult, #business, #odds, #name, #actual

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ceo: i came up with a nickname for you because you're such a geek. ceo points at dilbert. "dilbert." dilbert: that's my actual name. ceo walking away thinking: what were the odds of that?

Only One Thing Ceo Can Do

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Only One Thing Ceo Can Do - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #business, #press, #subordinates, #inapproriate, #behavior, #quit, #murder, #correct

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ceo: the press is all over me because seventy-three subordinates accused me of inappropriate behavior. there's only one thing i can do. boss: quit. ceo thinking: now i know who to murder to divert the press. boss: am i right?

Dogbert Makes A Deal

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Dogbert Makes A Deal - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #managers & supervisors, #subordinates, #behavior, #accusation, #press, #douse, #gasoline, #fire, #deal, #fairness, #negotiators

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dogbert: i made a deal with all of the subordinates who accused you of inappropriate behavior. they will stop talking to the press if you agree to let them douse you with gasoline and set you on fire. ceo: that's the best deal you could get me? dogbert: in all fairness, they are great negotiators, and i don't like you.