Christmas Comic Strips
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24 Results for Christmas
View 1 - 10 results for christmas comic strips. Discover the best "Christmas" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday September 23,
2018
Tags Wally, the boss, bad, technology, day, phone, freezing, printer, working, network, warning, lights, christmas, tree, laptop, boot, coincidence, permission, lock, lead-line, box, hero
Transcript
Wally: I'm having a bad technology day. My phone keeps freezing, my printer isn't working, and our network is down. Wally: My car's warning lights look like a Christmas tree, and my laptop won't boot up. Maybe its all just coincidence but I don't think we can take that chance. May I have permission to lock myself in a lead-lined box to protect the rest of the company? The Boss: How will I know you're really in a lead-lined box? Wally: YOu'll know because your phone will be working fine. The Boss: My phone is still working that man is a hero.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday December 25,
2013
Tags christmas, christmas presents, physics, quantum mechanics, interpretation, cat in box, airholes, holiday
Transcript
Dogbert: Merry Christmas! This gift is based on the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum mechanics. There's a cat in here that's neither dead nor alive. Dilbert: Where are the airholes? Dogbert: I have control issues.
Wednesday November 27,
2013
Tags anger, christmas, gods, party, too busy, almighty creator, universe, schedule, holiday
Transcript
Boss: Our Christmas party will be in January because December will be too busy. Wally: I'm sure the Almighty Creator of the Universe doesn't mind that we do things on your schedule, not his. What could go wrong? Dilbert: I hear thunder.
Tuesday December 25,
2012
Tags christmas, christmas presents, absolutely nothing, guilty, nothing to unwrap, clutter, return, assemble, holiday
Transcript
Dogbert: Merry Christmas. I got you the gift of absolutely nothing. Nothing to unwrap, nothing to clutter the house, nothing to return, nothing to assemble, and not a single thing to feel guilty about. Dilbert: You totally get me. Dogbert: It was the least I could do.
Monday December 26,
2011
Tags christmas presents, sweaters, ugly sweater, lose a bet, gift from mom, hideous sweater
Transcript
Alice: What's up with the ugly sweater? Did you lose a bet? Dilbert: This? Oh, right. It was a gift from my mom. I'm wearing it once in case she asks me later. Alice: Did you know it was hideous before I told you? Dilbert: Maybe.
Sunday December 25,
2011
Tags christmas presents, embarrassment, merry christmas, network design meeting, brand of makeup, hid, loobby, elevator, closet for months, creepiness
Transcript
Dilbert: Merry Christmas, Sarah. This is for you. Woman: Have you met? Dilbert: We attended the same network design meeting last April. I overheard you telling someone in the hallway that you like a specific brand of makeup. So I bought a box of it and kept it in the closet for months. I came to work early today and hid behind the sculpture in the lobby until I saw you heading to the elevator. Alice: I didn't know you could gift wrap creepiness. Sorry. Just act like I'm not here.
Saturday December 25,
2010
Tags mental gifting, sweater, tool, stupid sweater
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Are you ready to do mental gifting?" Dogbert says, "You go first." Dilbert says, "I imagine giving you a sweater that doesn't fit." Dogbert says, "I imagine giving you a tool that you already have." Dilbert says, "Merry Christmas, Dogbert." Dogbert says, "Stupid sweater."
Friday December 25,
2009
Tags christmas, presents, giving, nerdy, Funny, coffee, bank, bathrobe, holiday
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Merry Christmas. Here?s a hundred bucks." Dogbert says, "And here's a hundred bucks for you." Dilbert says, "We could save another step by setting up an electronic transfer with an annual recurring option." Dogbert says, "Excellent." Dogbert says, "Or we could not give gifts." Dilbert says, "Hush your crazy talk."
Tuesday June 01,
2004
Tags evil director, illeagal, age, sex, martital status, ethnicity, fifty year old, mongrel spinster
Transcript
"Evil director of H.R." "It's illegal for me to ask about age, sex, marital status, weight, ethnicity or disabilities." "But I can see that youre a fifty-year-old, 145-pund, mongrel spinster with some coordination issues." "Do you have any problem working on Christmas?"
Monday December 17,
2001
Tags serve food, homeless on christmas, extra hungry, one day, news crews arrive
Transcript
Tina says to Dilbert, "I'm signing up volunteers to serve food to the homeless on Christmas day." Dilbert responds, "How do you know in advance that they'll be extra hungry on that one day?" Tina responds, "Our P.R. firm makes sure they don't get fed for two days before the news crews arrive."

