Cleaning Comic Strips

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View 1 - 10 results for cleaning comic strips. Discover the best "Cleaning" comics from Dilbert.com.

Spring Cleaning

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Spring Cleaning - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags baboons, birthday, business, cleaning, criminals, drunk, files, list, servers, spring, white-collar

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boss on cell phone: we need to do spring cleaning. delete any data on our servers that make us look like white-collar criminals or drunken baboons. dilbert: all that leaves is our birthday list. boss through phone line: torch that too.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cleaning, engineers, coal break room, highest priority, mold grow, mutating bacteria, rapidly eveolved, sentient being, fueled by lunch, learned languages, job in hr, plans on firing, inappropriate websites

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Tina: You need to clean the break room refrigerator more often. Wally: We're engineers. We only do the highest priority tasks. Tina: Mold started to grow in there. Wally: That's no big deal. Tina: Bacteria caused the mold to mutate. Wally: So what? Tina: It rapidly evolved into a sentient being fueled by forgotten lunches. Then it learned language skills and got a job in Human Resources. It plans to frame you for viewing inappropriate websites at work and then fire you. Wally: This sort of thing usually works itself out.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cleaning, janitor, crime scene, overalls, shut down, assistant, ratbert, human body parts, recycling bins, frankenstein

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The Boss says, "We need to shut down our crime scene cleaning division." The Boss says, "Apparently your assistant, Ratbert, has been putting human remains in the recycling bins." Dilbert says, "That's a harmless mistake. What's the worst thing that could happen?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cleaning, janitor, crime scene, overalls, assistant, feet in air, dead body, mop, duct tape

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Crime Scene Cleaning Dilbert says, "There's no budget for a mop or cleaning supplies." Dilbert says, "All I have is this pole and you." Ratbert says, "You could duct tape me to the pole." Dilbert says, "Yup. If we had duct tape."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cleaning, janitor, crime scene, overalls, assistant, excited, squeegee, brains

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Dilbert says, "Ratbert, would you like to be my assistant in the crime scene cleaning profession?" Ratbert says, "Me?!" Ratbert says, "You had me at 'brains and squeegees.'" Dilbert says, "I didn't say any of those words." Ratbert says, "Would it kill you to say them now?" Dilbert says, "If it does, you can clean me up."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, singles, overalls, drink, cleaning, crime scenes, janitor, relationships

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Woman says, "I love your tie-dyed overalls. That's a bold look." Dilbert says, "Actually, my job is cleaning crime scenes. I didn't have time to change." Dilbert says, "The singles scene is all about how you look."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags complain, annoyed, ted, fire, surprise, meeting, sit down, lie, wide eyes, business

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Wally says, "I spent the entire week cleaning up the mess that Ted left after you fired him." Ted says, "I didn't get fired. I'm right here." Wally says, "I guess it's just his word against mine."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags reading, e-mail, money, broke, budget cuts, cleaning, toilet

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To all staff: We had to let our cleaning crew go for budget reasons. In a separate e-mail, I will explain our new 'Adopt a toilet' program. Dilbert says, "I have to be honest, Timmy. I don't see college in your future."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags proposition, marriage, ridiculous, confused, reading, explanation, relationships

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Alice says, "I crunched the numbers, and it makes sense for us to get married." Alice says, "I can maintain my lifestyle if you live in the closet and your only hobby is cleaning my house when I'm gone." Alice says, "If that doesn't work, I can insure the bejeezus out of you and hope for the best." Dilbert says, "The best?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Hey, Dilbert, would you mind stopping by my house after work and seeing if you can fix my computer?" "Sure. And while I do that you can be at my house cleaning the grout in my shower." "That's crazy talk." "Hey, I'm not the one who majored in comparative literature."