Close Door Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

238 Results for Close Door

View 1 - 10 results for close door comic strips. Discover the best "Close Door" comics from Dilbert.com.

Yay, A Package

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Yay, A Package - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #package, #arrived, #consumer, #amazon, #purchase, #birthday, #feel, #forgetfulness, #dish soap

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert opening front door at home: yay! my package arrived! i buy one thing per day from amazon and then forget what i ordered, so it feels like my birthday every day. dogbert with hands over eyes: i can't watch this. yes! dish soap! how did i know i wanted that?

No Makeup On Zoom

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Makeup On Zoom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sarcasm, #technology, #zoom, #call, #voice only, #makeup, #hermit, #fedex

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert communicating with another person on cell phone. voice from phone: can we set up a zoom call later today? sound: tap tap tap i prefer a voice-only call because i'm not wearing makeup at home. how hideous do you look without makeup? i'm not sure, but fedex asked me to stop answering the door in person.

No Human Contact

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Human Contact - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #home, #human, #contact, #self isolation, #quarantine, #coronavirus, #health, #oxytocin, #lonely

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert at home: i haven't had any human contact for months. dilbert wearing face mask sitting on couch with dogbert: people need physical contact to keep their oxytocin at healthy levels. dogbert: get away from me. dilbert: maybe if we both close our eyes.

Wally Cares For Elbonian Baby

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Cares For Elbonian Baby - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #babies, #excuses, #misunderstanding, #office workers, #Parenting, #work, #adoption, #negligence

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: How's it working out with the Elbonian baby you adopted? Wally: Great! Now I have lots of excuses for missing work, and I still look like a saint. Carol: What kind of daycare are you using? Wally: I just sprinkle cheerios on the floor and lock the door.

Lawyers Take Years

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Lawyers Take Years - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #lawyers, #office, #agreement, #years

View Transcript

Transcript

team meeting in conference room. dilbert: we can close the deal as soon as our lawyers tweak a few minor sentences in the agreement. the boss: how long will that take? dilbert: probably several years. the boss: what if i help them? dilbert: add 3 years.

Evil Marketing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Evil Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #chimps, #evil, #marketing, #office, #product

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert, the boss and dogbert at conference room table. the boss: our competition released a product that makes our product look like it was designed by chimps. the boss: that's why i hired the world's most evil marketing expert to help us close the perception gap. the boss: should we focus on our value proposition? dogbert: if that means accusing them of crimes they didn't commit, then yes.

Intentionally Underbidding

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Intentionally Underbidding - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #intentionally, #underbidding, #extra-shoddy, #work, #grossly, #overcharging, #upgrades, #criminal, #organization, #proven

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: We won the job by intentionally underbidding. But we can close the profit gap by doing extra-shoddy work and grossly overcharging for upgrades. Dilbert: Are we a criminal organization? The Boss: Not in a way that can easily be proven.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #distraction, #procrastination, #work ethic, #excuses, #productivity

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I have one hour to get some work done before my meeting. But I can't concentrate when i"m hungry, so I need a shack. This snack is making me thirsty. The label on this shirt is bugging me. I need to cut it off. Q quick trip to the restroom and then I can get down to work. Ugh. I have fifteen messages since I left my desk. Now it's too close to my meeting to start a new task. Dogbert: How's work? Dilbert: How would I know?

Porch Thief Is Neutralized

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Porch Thief Is Neutralized  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #violence, #retaliation, #delivery, #package, #stealing, #theft, #ring, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Uh-oh. My home security system is showing a thief stealing a package from my front door. Activating particle beam defense. The threat has been neutralized. Dilbert: When you say "neutralized," does that mean... Alice: Activating crime scene cleanup drone.

Moth Man Visits Alice

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Moth Man Visits Alice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #annoyance, #mothman, #anger, #frustration, #workload

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: The storytelling mothman you hired is keeping us from doing our work! He's in Alice's cubicle right now. Mothman: Gaaaa!!!! Asok: Sounds like he flew too close to the flame. Boss: Problem solved.