Comparing Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

22 Results for Comparing

View 1 - 10 results for comparing comic strips. Discover the best "Comparing" comics from Dilbert.com.

Comparing Unknowns

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.

Darkest Before The Dawn

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Darkest Before The Dawn - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, engineering, managers & supervisors, office, office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Our product pipeline looks dismal. Boss: It's always darkest before the dawn. Alice: You're comparing product development to the solar system. I don't know what to do with that. Boss: What would Jesus do?

Comparing Things

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Comparing Things - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, Dilbert, giraffe, solution

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Your proposed solution has too many problems. Dilbert: You're not good at comparing things. The Boss: Pfft. I'm way better at it than a giraffe.

Asok Is Offended By Wally

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Is Offended By Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags offense, insult, offensive, fighting, nonviolent resistance

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I hear you have been comparing yourself to Gandhi, the father of my birth country. That is offensive. It makes me want to punch you. Wally: Have you tried fasting instead? I hear good things about it.

Bought His Last Company

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bought His Last Company - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags comparison, comparing, merger, acquisition, liquidation, layoff, redundancy, big business, competition, darwin

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: That's now how we did it at my prior company. Boss: We bought your old company, fired all of the employees, and discontinued all of its products. Man: How is that possible? Boss: It's called "survival of the fittest." It's just science.

Talking About The Last Job

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Talking About The Last Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags personality, comparing, employees, dumb, business, psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I will now compare my last job to this one because it is all I ever talk about. Everyone was so much smarter at my old job. Fuh-fuh-fuh-fuh. Dilbert: I assume that's why they fired you. Man: Lucky guess.

The Comparison Problem

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Comparison Problem  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags entrepreneur, comparison, power, money, perspective, happiness, psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: How'd it go when you told your staff to act more like entrepreneurs? Boss: Not so good. They were happier when they were comparing their careers to other people in cubicles. Dilbert: What?! This idiot is worth a billion dollars now??? Asok: Gaaa!!! I'm a failure!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags engineers, frustration, apples and oranges, comparing fruit, grow on trees, nutritionally

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You can't compare apples and oranges. Dilbert: That's clearly wrong because you just compared them and declared them different. Wally: Apples and oranges are both foods that grow on trees. It would be totally valid to compare them nutritionally. Dilbert: I've noticed that a lot of what comes out of your mouth makes no sense. Boss: You sound like my wife. Wally: You can't compare your wife to your subordinate. That's apples and oranges. Boss: What is happening here? Wally: I don't know, but I wouldn't compare it to work.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags obliviousness, thinking, judge them, chipmunk, judge algebra, complex and useful, innovative circuit design, engineer, office setting, desks, computers, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Do you have any great ideas? Dilbert: How would I know? Boss: You could tell me your ideas and I'll judge them Dilbert: That's like asking a chipmunk to judge algebra. Boss: Are you comparing me to algebra? Dilbert: Sure, let's go with that. Boss: That makes sense because algebra is complex and useful... just like me. Dilbert: So... what do you think of this innovative circuit design? Boss: It's um... fine? Dilbert: Said the chipmunk to the engineer.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags brainstorm, discussion, less effective, meetings, new product ideas, stem cell technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Let's brainstorm new product ideas. Remember, the most important rule of brainstorming is no criticizing. Dilbert: I'll go first. Research shows that brainstorming is less effective than people working by themselves and later comparing ideas. My idea is to use stem cell technology to design bosses who aren't ignoramuses. Remember, you're not supposed to criticize ideas. But if you decide to do it anyway, it sort of proves my point. I understand whey brainstorming has a bad reputation, but it doesn't stop me from enjoying it.