Confident Men Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

189 Results for Confident Men

View 1 - 10 results for confident men comic strips. Discover the best "Confident Men" comics from Dilbert.com.

Honest Men

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.

Men Are Stupid Pigs

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Men Are Stupid Pigs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #complaint, #office, #stupid, #pigs, #Men, #specific, #i.q., #visayan warty

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: i have a complaint about the men in the office. catbert: all of them? tina: yes, they're all stupid pigs. catbert: can you be more specific? tina: okay, they're basically visayan warty pigs in the i.q. range of 20 to 40.

Marrying An Elbonian

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Marrying An Elbonian  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #elbonia, #accusations, #marriage, #plan, #job, #name, #sarcasm, #bigot

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert and dogbert on couch at home. dilbert: people at work accused me of being bigoted against elbonian men, so i'm marrying one to prove them wrong and keep my job. dogbert: what's his name? dilbert: i think it's something like gluppfril or breemf. dogbert: sounds like a solid plan.

Bigoted Against Elbonian Men

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bigoted Against Elbonian Men - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #marriage, #office workers, #elbonia, #report, #bigot, #irrelevant, #innocence, #prove, #sale, #flower

View Transcript

Transcript

catbert: i'm getting reports that you are bigoted against elbonian men. dilbert: i'm not. catbert: that is irrelevant. there is only one way to prove your innocence. elbonian man: yes, i'll marry you. dilbert holding out flower: i thought it would be a tougher sale.

Real Men Multitask

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Real Men Multitask  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #software, #software design, #concentrate, #multitask, #distraction, #kill, #error

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: do you ever think about the fact that one small error in your software design could kill hundreds of people? all it would take is some kind of distraction while you are trying to concentrate. dilbert: are you done? boss: a real man could multitask in this situation.

Applying Math To Guesses

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Applying Math To Guesses - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #managers & supervisors, #employment, #business, #analysis, #discount rate, #installation, #maintenance, #project, #technology, #math, #guess, #sarcasm, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: how confident are you in your analysis? dilbert: very confident. boss: good. dilbert: unless i used the wrong discount rate, which is hard to know. boss: but otherwise, it's solid? dilbert: except for the installation and maintenance costs, which are wild guesses. and we don't know if we sized the project right, so costs could be double or triple. boss: it sounds as if you applied math to a bunch of wild guesses. dilbert: yes, but i got the result you wanted. boss: next time, just say that.

Confident Wrong Guy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Confident Wrong Guy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #confidence, #employees, #insults, #obliviousness, #office workers, #sarcasm, #hire

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired a guy who is always wrong, yet he is inexplicably confident. Alice: Why? We already have one of you. Boss: I don't know what you meant by that. But I am confident it is wrong.

Boss Helps

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Helps - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #project, #deadline, #interruption, #business, #new, #task, #priority

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: why isn't your project done yet? dilbert: because every time i walk past your office you give me three new tasks and tell men they are my highest priority. boss: i was hoping you didn't know why. dilbert: hire someone dumber next time.

New Tv Ad

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
New Tv Ad - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argument, #business ethics, #marketing, #men and women, #office workers, #relations between the sexes, #accuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Ben, from marketing, is here to give us a preview of our new tv ad. Ben: The opening scene shows a bunch of men who are weak and stupid, failing to solve a common problem. Then a confident and strong woman enters and solves the problem with ease. Dilbert: Isn't that incredibly sexist? Ben: No, because only the men are weak and stupid. Dilbert: And that's not sexist? Ben: Why are you being so weak and stupid? You sound like a bigot. Dilbert: I'll be quiet now. Wally: As quickly as it began, the rebellion was quashed.

Dilbert Is No Longer His Name

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Is No Longer His Name - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #gender, #managers & supervisors, #men and women, #office workers, #respect, #salary

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My name used to be Dilbert, but my boss ordered me to identify as a woman. That way he can claim he pays men and women the same. Woman: I just lost all respect for your company. Dilbert: That was going to happen either way.