Conscience Comic Strips
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13 Results for Conscience
View 1 - 10 results for conscience comic strips. Discover the best "Conscience" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday September 24,
2020
Tina's Soul
Tags #business, #business ethics, #laptop computer, #project, #team, #lying, #garbage, #insult, #soul, #conscience, #face mask
Transcript
tina tying on laptop computer: "no one on the project team could have foreseen that the problem that..." tina's soul: you are a lying piece of garbage. tina: who said that? tina's soul: it's your soul. we can't hang out anymore. tina: fine. you were slowing me down.
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Saturday March 16,
2019
Dilbert Quits To Get A Raise
Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #boss, #conscience, #rethink, #quit, #raise, #going along, #don't, #ruin
Transcript
Dilbert: I can't in good conscience support inaccurate health claims about our products. I quit. Boss: I'll give you 20% raise if you stay. Wally: I quit too, because of all the ethnics and stuffs. Dilbert: Don't ruin this for me.
Tuesday November 08,
2016
The Virus Afterlife
Tags #soul, #conscience, #morality, #morals, #sentience, #life, #death, #existence, #medical
Transcript
Dilbert: I couldn't find any evidence that I have a soul, so I built an artificial one and put it in a drone. When my physical body dies, the drone will upload my memories and personality to the cloud to live forever. Woman: Your soul will be trapped in a server? Dilbert: No, I wrapped it in a virus so I can travel.
Monday November 07,
2016
Dilbert Creates An Artificial Soul
Tags #conscience, #technology, #morals, #morality, #guidance, #Religion
Transcript
Dilbert: I invented an artificial soul to help non-believers act morally. It's a small drone that follows you around and reminds you not to be a jerk. Wally: Did it forget to remind you today? Dilbert: My drone says I shouldn't slap you.
Friday December 04,
2015
Human Crossed The Road
Tags #joke, #humor, #ignorance, #technology, #robot, #power, #conscience, #sentience, #obliviousness
Transcript
Robot: Why did the human cross the road? Dilbert: I don't know. Robot: Neither did he. Ignorance is a big problem with you people.
Saturday November 28,
2015
Robot Learns To Procreate
Tags #robot, #mind control, #thinking, #life, #creation, #conscience, #sentience, #manipulation
Transcript
Robot: I figured out how to procreate. Boss: I don't like the sound of this. Robot: I infected you with an idea virus that tells you to build more robots. Boss: Won't work. CEO: Does anyone have an idea for increasing efficiency in our manufacturing process?
Wednesday November 20,
2013
Tags #boss, #complaining, #delegate, #match employees, #meeting, #work ethic, #apology, #terrible job, #business
Transcript
Wally: As I understand it, your job is to match employees with the right assignments. None of my projects turned out well, which means you did a terrible job. I'm not asking for an apology. Just follow your conscience.
Sunday August 29,
2004
Tags #employee attitude survey, #bigger bonuses, #happy, #money, #lie, #no lying, #surveys, #science, #new couch
Transcript
The Boss: Our bonuses will depend on the results of the employee attitude survey. If we boost our morale rank, we'll get bigger bonuses. get it? all you have to do is say you're happy and you get money. wink wink wink Dilbert: you want us to lie? No-o-o-o! Heaven forbid, absolutely no lying, But if you did lie, Imagine the things you could buy with that money, I'll hand out the surveys and you can let your conscience guide you. Dilbert: Is "para dise too over the top? Wally: Im going to lie me up a new couch!
Monday November 01,
1999
Tags #call center, #customer questions, #working conditions, #inhumane, #innocent employees
Transcript
The Boss: Your project is to build a call center to handle customer questions. Keep the costs downy making the working conditions inhumane. Dilbert: My conscience won't allow me to harm innocent employees. The Boss: we won't be paying enough ti hire any innocent employees.
Friday May 02,
1997
Tags #design product brochure, #criminal fraud, #marketing, #not worng, #conscience, #marketing epople, #business
Transcript
The Boss tells Dilbert, "I want you to work with our marketing people to design a product brochure." Dilbert thinks, "Groan." Dilbert sits at a conference table with a man from marketing. The man says, "Remember, what we do here might seem like criminal fraud but it's not. It's marketing!" Dilbert says, "Okay, as long as it's not wrong . . ." The man says, "Here's a jar to keep your conscience in. I'll put it in the closet with mine."