Converts Waste Into Penicillain Comic Strips
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boss: remember, asok, you don't find luck, you go out and make it. asok yelling and waving arms: i feel your wisdom rewiring my brain and turning me into a super-employee! boss: it usually doesn't work this fast. asok: please double my workload, you beautiful monster!
alice: you did a great job on your project ted. ted: thank you. alice: you are most welcome. ted: wait. why do i have a sense of dread and foreboding? it isn't like you to give out generous compliments. this feels like a trap. you're lulling me into a false sense of security. you plan to sabotage my career to make yourself look better by comparison. ted yelling: you monster! boss: what's this all about? alice thinking: that worked out.
catbert to boss: you've tried rewarding good performance and punishing bad. but have you tried tricking employees into working hard? boss: no, can you teach me? catbert to asok: remember, hard work is its own reward. asok: is it?
wally: asok has been socially isolating too well. we need to ease him back into society with out shocking his system. dilbert: how about a reverse elbow bump? can you do that? asok in something similar to a yellow space suit: (yelling) murderer!
boss: gaaa! why can't i ever type the captcha letters correctly to get into this app? dilbert: your inability to prove you are not a robot is strong evidence that you are, in fact, a robot. boss: yes, that makes sense. dilbert: the other explanation is that you are a moron, and you know that isn't true, so...
co-worker: can i get your thoughts on the article i emailed to you? dilbert: okay. my thoughts are that i don't want to waste my time reading any articles you send to me. co-worker: can you dive a bit deeper? dilbert: okay. i also don't like talking to you.
boss: my records show you completed the online training for diversity and inclusion. apparently, you did not know we can detect it when you have the sound muted during the entire course. colleague: oops. dilbert: you can do that? Boss: no, but i can trick most of you idiots into confessing.
dilbert: i worked all weekend to get this done for you by the deadline. boss: thanks, but i won't need it for another two weeks. dilbert: then...why did you tell me the deadline was today? boss: i built some cushion into the schedule. dilbert: you mean, you lied to me about the real deadline. in other words, you don't trust me, you are a liar, and i should never believe you again. boss: but you didn't miss the deadline! dilbert: okay, well, at least my input is critical to our success. boss: i might have exaggerated that.
wally speaking in meeting: i spent all week trying to sign into an app that stopped working for some reason. boss: but you got it to work in the end? wally: no, all i did was learn to hate the developers. boss: how do you plan to solve that? wally drinking coffee: i don't need to. it isn't an app i need.
boss in meeting: i'm no expert on blockchain, but i think... we need to get the evm stack on the bytecode so we don't run into a consensus fork. boss to ted: did that mean anything? ted: don't ask me. i'm bluffing too.