Corporate Health Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

253 Results for Corporate Health

View 1 - 10 results for corporate health comic strips. Discover the best "Corporate Health" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert Quits To Get A Raise

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Quits To Get A Raise - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 16, 2019's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #boss, #conscience, #rethink, #quit, #raise, #going along, #don't, #ruin

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I can't in good conscience support inaccurate health claims about our products. I quit. Boss: I'll give you 20% raise if you stay. Wally: I quit too, because of all the ethnics and stuffs. Dilbert: Don't ruin this for me.

Health Problems

Thank you for voting.
Health Problems  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 18, 2019's comic on:


Tags #age, #complaining, #health, #office, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Do me a favor and never put me on a project with people over the age of forty. They waste the first fifteen minutes of every meeting talking about their health problems. Boss: Did you say something? I can't hear you over my tinnitus.

Take The Stairs

Thank you for voting.
Take The Stairs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 2019's comic on:


Tags #birthdays, #encouragement, #exercise & fitness, #health, #office, #office workers, #company, #life insurance

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The company encourages you to take the stairs instead of the elevator because it is good for your health. Ted: I take the elevator because my life insurance doesn't pay off if I kill myself all at once. Boss: On another topic, we will celebrate birthdays this month with cake in the break room. Ted: Perfect.

Cake Is Healthy

Thank you for voting.
Cake Is Healthy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 14, 2018's comic on:


Tags #cake, #diet, #employees, #employment, #health, #health food, #office, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're launching a health and wellness initiative for employees this week. In other news, we have cake in the break room to celebrate all of the birthdays this month. Dilbert: Because cake is healthy? Boss: Learn to compartmentalize.

Company Cheer

Thank you for voting.
Company Cheer  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #employees, #jobs, #managers & supervisors, #meetings, #corporations

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our new corporate owners want us to gather every morning to do the company cheer. Alice: I quit. Dilbert: I quit. Voice: I quit. Voice 2: I quit. Boss: That's not the company cheer. Dilbert: It is now.

Dogbert Sells Life Advice

Thank you for voting.
Dogbert Sells Life Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #motivation, #meaning, #existentialism

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: How do I find meaning in my life? Dogbert: Nothing has meaning. The best you can do is postpone your own lonely and painful death. Asok: Are you saying I should take care of my health? Dogbert: What answer gets me the best review on Yelp?!

Smartphone Syndrome

Thank you for voting.
Smartphone Syndrome - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 2018's comic on:


Tags #cell phone, #smart phone, #compulsion, #addiction, #attention, #distraction, #mental health, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Doctor: You've got a bad case of smartphone syndrome. One of hundred percent of your mental and physical problems are caused by using your phone too much. I don't feel as if I'm getting through to you. Alice texting: She's still talking. LOL.

Spittle

Thank you for voting.
Spittle - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 2018's comic on:


Tags #exercise, #fitness, #fad, #bossercise, #yelling, #criticism, #managers, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: If you need me, I'll be Bossercizing. Carol: What? Boss: It's a combination of walking around and spittle-yelling at underperformers. Carol: Is the spittle part necessary? Boss: Thhtop queth-tioning me!!!

Bossercize

Thank you for voting.
Bossercize - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 2018's comic on:


Tags #exercise, #personal trainer, #fitness, #bossercise, #criticism, #managers, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Dogbert The Personal Trainer. Dogbert: I invented a fitness routine I call Bossercise. It mostly involves strutting around the office and criticizing people. Boss: You incompetent fool! Dogbert: Give me twenty more reps.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 04, 2018's comic on:


Tags #add code, #corporate scamming, #darkest day, #designed new prodcut, #draft apology, #engineering success, #make unrelaible, #no upgarde, #press release, #ten years

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Ive designed our new product to work flawlessly for up to ten years. CEO: No one will need an upgrade. Thats no good. Add some code to low it down and make it unreliable after two years. CEO: But make sure the device doesn't slow down until we have an upgrade to sell. Then draft an apology I can put un a press realize when we get caught. Dilbert: You have turned my engineering success into the darkest day of my career. CEO: Thats not even close to being true. Your darkest day will be when the press figures out what we did and I fore you for it.