Couch Tech Support Comic Strips

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423 Results for Couch Tech Support

View 1 - 10 results for couch tech support comic strips. Discover the best "Couch Tech Support" comics from Dilbert.com.

Scooch Over

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Scooch Over - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #business people, #destiny, #no, #people, #ruler, #sarcasm, #superpower

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dilbert talking to dogbert on couch dilbert: i've been saying "no" to people all week, and nothing bad happened to me. why did i never know about this superpower? now i am the ruler of my own destiny! scooch over. dogbert: no.

One Source Of Stress

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One Source Of Stress - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #work at home, #human, #contact, #stress, #co-workers, #bored, #print, #money

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dilbert thinking: i've had no human contact for months. i wasn't expecting to enjoy it so much. my love life was already a barren wasteland. and avoiding my co-workers is always good. i haven't been stressed, tired, or bored in weeks. i only have one remaining source of stress in my life. dilbert sitting on couch with dogbert dogbert: i'm printing money in the basement. dilbert: there it is.

No Interruptions At Home

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No Interruptions At Home - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 2020's comic on:


Tags #technology, #business, #working, #home, #workday, #productivity, #anger, #annoying, #bowel, #problems

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dilbert sitting on couch with dogbert: i like working from home. i can do eight hours of work in one hour because no one is interrupting me. dogbert yelling: i'm trying to work here! dilbert: did i tell you about my bowel problems? dogbert: go away!

Dogbert Teaches Asok Tech Support

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Dogbert Teaches Asok Tech Support - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 10, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #technology, #train, #tech support, #problem, #reboot, #computer, #problem solving, #genius

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boss: dogbert, i need you to train asok to fill in for you on tech support. dogbert to asok: the goal of tech support is to convince the caller the problem is on their end. i do this by recommending increasingly difficult things for them to try. eventually they give up, watch and learn. dogbert on call: uh-huh... uh-huh... try rebooting your computer. now try it again while holding control -escape-space bar- delete for exactly 27.3 seconds. no luck? try looking at your computer's binary code to find any zeros and ones that are out of order. click dogbert: and he's gone. asok: genius!

No Human Contact

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No Human Contact - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 09, 2020's comic on:


Tags #home, #human, #contact, #self isolation, #quarantine, #coronavirus, #health, #oxytocin, #lonely

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dilbert at home: i haven't had any human contact for months. dilbert wearing face mask sitting on couch with dogbert: people need physical contact to keep their oxytocin at healthy levels. dogbert: get away from me. dilbert: maybe if we both close our eyes.

Working At Home

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Working At Home - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 2020's comic on:


Tags #accomplished, #business, #fort, #goof, #health, #home, #version, #working, #coronavirus

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day one of working from home dilbert thinking: i'm getting a lot done. day two of working from home dilbert thinking laying on the couch: if i goofed off a little, would anyone know? day three of working from home dogbert: lame fort. dilbert under fort made from couch cushions and blanket: it's version 1.0.

Reading Faces

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Reading Faces - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 23, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #meeting, #corrupt, #communists, #technology, #proposal, #reading faces

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co-worker: i can't support this project because you're all a bunch of corrupt, godless communists. dilbert: just out of curiosity, where did you get your education? co-worker: i learned everything i need to know on social media. dilbert: how does that help you evaluate a technical proposal? co-worker: it's simple. i take one look at all of your faces, and i know everything i need to know. co-worker looking at wally: i mean, look at this guy's face. he's obviously a grifter. wally: lucky guess. co-worker looking at alice: this one obviously has anger issues. dilbert: i demand a larger sample size! co-worker: whatever geek face.

Dilbert Organizes The Lab

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Dilbert Organizes The Lab  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 2020's comic on:


Tags #sarcasm, #business, #tech, #lab, #reorganize, #co-workers, #grateful

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dilbert: this week i reorganized the tech lab from top to bottom. dogbert: were your co-workers grateful? dilbert: yes, assuming they show it by rummaging through the wrong drawers and cursing.

What Good Is Money

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What Good Is Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #sarcasm, #income, #soul, #money, #earn, #rent, #own

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dilbert on couch at home: what good is earning money if it costs me my soul? dogbert: well, for one thing, it's the only way you can pay your rent. dilbert: rent? i own this house. dogbert: you really should read the things i ask you to docusign.

User Complaints

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User Complaints - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 2019's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #technology, #support, #business, #staff, #overwhelmed, #bonus, #product, #launch, #department, #problem, #cause, #fair

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dilbert: our tech support staff is overwhelmed because we shipped the wrong user guide with our product. boss: my bonus only depends on launching the product on time. tech support isn't my department. dilbert: you caused the problem. boss: who told you it was a fair world.