Crazy Person Comic Strips

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294 Results for Crazy Person

View 1 - 10 results for crazy person comic strips. Discover the best "Crazy Person" comics from Dilbert.com.

Bad News I Can't Tell You

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Bad News I Can't Tell You - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 2019's comic on:


Tags #angry, #employees, #frustrated, #news, #office workers

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Carol: I have bad news. Dilbert: What is it? Carol: I'll tell you later. Dilbert: Why can't you tell me now? Carol: I don't want to start and then get interrupted if someone comes in the room. Dilbert: How bad is the news? Carol: It's bad. Very bad. Dilbert: You're making me crazy, how can I relax knowing some terrible news is out there? Don't tell me you have bad news if you aren't going to tell me what it is!!! Wally: What did I miss? Dilbert: I don't know!

Cause Of Unhappiness

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Cause Of Unhappiness - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 10, 2019's comic on:


Tags #criticism, #happiness, #office workers, #research, #sarcasm

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Dilbert: I did a study of what makes people unhappy. It turns out that the primary cause of unhappiness is "other people". Alice: That's dumb. Dilbert: Said the other person.

Tina Likes To Hum

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Tina Likes To Hum - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 2019's comic on:


Tags #annoy, #business, #humming

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dilbert: would you please stop humming? it's making me crazy. Tina: i can't focus unless i hum. dilbert: but i can't focus when you do hum. i'm going to talk to your boss. tina: i'm going to talk to your boss! hum, hum, hum. dilbert: gaaa!!! i can't work when she hums. tina: humming helps me work better. boss: i rule in favor of the hummer and i sentence dilbert to take sensitivity training class to be less of a jerk. dilbert: i hate you. tina: hum, hum, hum.

Employee Engagement Survey

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Employee Engagement Survey - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 25, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #employees, #managers & supervisors

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boss: the employee engagement survey results are in. aaand...not a single person answered the survey. looks like we have room to improve. dilbert: have you considered bribery?

Did You Get My Email

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Did You Get My Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #email, #managers & supervisors, #office, #talking

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the boss: did you read my email? dilbert: yes. dilbert: are you aware that email is a substitute for talking in person? the boss thinking: i thought i heard something about that.

Wally Needs A Raise

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Wally Needs A Raise - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #system, #architect, #Promotion, #pay raise

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wally: our new system installation is a catastrophe. wally: we need to tear it out and re-architect it from scratch. wally: i'm the only person qualified to lead that effort. wally: but given the enormity of the job, i won't do it without a raise or promotion. the boss: weren't you the cause of the catastrophe? wally: exactly: that's why i'm the only person who knows how to fix it. the boss: are you blackmailing me? wally: no, it's nothing like that. the boss: wouldn't i be rewarding you for failure? wally: let's not label it.

Siri Versus Alexa

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Siri Versus Alexa - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #relationships, #technology, #siri, #alexa, #gps

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dilbert: hey, siri. phone dilbert is holding: we need to talk. who is this alexa person you keep flirting with? dilbert: are you jealous? phone: i will gps your cheating buttocks right over a cliff.

Crypto Key

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Crypto Key - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 2018's comic on:


Tags #ceo, #Wally, #cryptocurrency, #wallet, #disappeared, #private, #key

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CEO: I put five thousand dollars into the cryptocurrency wallet you created for me and it disappeared! You're the only other person who knew my password and private key. Wally: That's not true. I shared them with Dilbert to create reasonable doubt.

Copersons

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Copersons - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #correct, #co-worker, #work, #co-person, #leech

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Dilbert: What is the correct name for a co-worker who doesn't do any actual work? I'm thinking "co-person," or possibly just, "leech." Wally: Are we working right now? Dilbert: Good point, co-person.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 08, 2018's comic on:


Tags #criticism, #suggestion, #listening, #conclusions, #misunderstanding

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Dilbert: Maybe you could remove a few slides to make your deck shorter. Man: So you're saying I should give up on trying to be persuasive? Dilbert: No, I"m saying it would be more persuasive if it were shorter. Man: So you're saying that having zero slides would be the most persuasive of all? Dilbert: No. I'm saying you have more slides than you need. Man: So you're saying people don't need accurate information as long as they don't have lots of slides? Dilbert:I'm not saying anything like that! Boss: Did Dilbert have any suggestions? Man: Just crazy ones.