Crimean War Comic Strips
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42 Results for Crimean War
View 1 - 10 results for crimean war comic strips. Discover the best "Crimean War" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday May 07,
2020
Noble Bad Data
Tags #accurate, #bad, #business, #data, #heroic, #managers & supervisors, #noble, #war
Transcript
boss's voice coming from monitor: is the data accurate? dilbert at desk looking at boss on video conference: you don't go to war with the data you need. you go to war with the data you have. boss: did you just make it sound noble to use bad data? dilbert: and heroic.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday August 15,
2019
The Bad Analogy Guy
Tags #meetings, #office workers, #sarcasm, #war
Transcript
Man: This meeting reminds me of the sixth elbonian revolution. Therefore, logically, this meeting will end with bayonets. Asok: What's wrong with you? Man: Can I borrow your pen?
Friday January 05,
2018
Elon Musk Warns The World
Tags #technology, #artificial intelligence, #ai, #social media, #distraction, #thinking, #thought
Transcript
Robot: Elon Musk is warning the world that A.I. could be a threat to humankind. Dilbert: We humans won't go without a fight! Robot: Look at this viral video on social media. Dilbert: Hee hee! What were we talking about before? Robot: You were mistakenly believing you haven't already lost the war.
Wednesday June 24,
2015
Wally's Hobby
Tags #compliment, #insult, #backhanded compliment, #hobby, #obliviousness, #deception
Transcript
Wally: Your strategy looks like a genius way to fight the last war. Boss: Thank you. Wally: No problem. You owe me a compliment. At what point does insulting your boss and getting away with it count as a hobby?
Thursday November 14,
2013
Tags #alcoholic beverages, #executive retreat, #executives, #lower prices, #price war, #prices, #profit margin, #strategy
Transcript
Boss: Our new strategy is to lower our prices to increase sales. Dilbert: So our strategy is to start a price war and drive our profit margin to zero? Boss: It made sense at the executive retreat. Alice: Was alcohol involved?
Monday August 08,
2011
Tags #announcements, #meetings, #communicate, #other departments, #criticize, #war on knowledge
Transcript
Boss: We need to communicate less with other departments. The more they know about us, the more they criticize what we do. Dilbert: Is this part of your larger war on knowledge? Boss: That was the last thing I'll ever tell you.
Wednesday June 02,
2010
Tags #meeting, #presentation, #slide show, #names, #trademarked, #hand motion, #crotch area, #wide eyes, #shocked, #gross, #point, #war criminals, #nicknames, #partnerless loving, #business
Transcript
Dilbert says, "This next slide shows all of the possible names for our product that are not already trademarked." The Boss says, "Are there any that don't remind people of this general area of the human body?" Dilbert says, "That narrows it down to the names of accused war criminals, and the funnier nicknames for partnerless loving."
Thursday January 21,
2010
Tags #elbonians, #war, #punching, #pow, #cultural sensitivity
Transcript
The Boss says, "Alice, I'm sending you to cultural sensitivity training before we meet with the Elbonians." The Boss says, "Last time you almost started a war." Alice says, "I made one little mistake." FLASHBACK Alice says, "And here's another way the women in my country are different." POW!!!
Saturday July 04,
2009
Tags #angry, #plan, #war, #violence, #screaming, #rejecting, #criticism
Transcript
Elbonian says, "The imperialists punched a hole in my hat!!! Revenge will be ours!" Elbonian says, "Walla-walla walla-walla walla!!!" Elbonian says, "We don't do that." Elbonian says, "Mitten bump?"
Friday July 03,
2009
Tags #product, #idea, #violence, #hitting, #war, #weapon
Transcript
The boss says, "Our product is so unsafe that the military wants to use it as a weapon." The boss says, "Now the only way to satisfy our fiduciary duty to stockholders is to foment war to boost our sales." Elbonian says, "Hey, why'd you punch a hole in my hat?!!" Alice says, "That's a little thing we call marketing."