Cube Farm Comic Strips

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View 1 - 10 results for cube farm comic strips. Discover the best "Cube Farm" comics from Dilbert.com.

Elbonian Interference With Ads

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Elbonian Interference With Ads - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hacker, #troll, #social media, #damage, #marketing, #bot, #nonsense, #business, #technology

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Dilbert: Our competitors hired an Elbonian troll farm to ruin our brand on social media. Their most viral ad against us so far says, "How ice cream they bicycle art!" Boss: How many views did it get? Dilbert: Seven, including this one.

Elbonian Interference

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Elbonian Interference - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hacker, #hacking, #trolls, #protest, #counter-protest, #obliviousness, #manipulation

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Dilbert: Uh-oh. I think we are being attacked by an Elbonian troll farm. They're organizing an employee protest against management and... a management counter-protest against employees. Luckily, no one here is stupid enough to... Boss: Down with employees!

Honest Opinion But Polite

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Honest Opinion But Polite - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticism, #political correctness, #politically correct, #company policy, #honesty

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Dilbert: Our new politeness policy forbids me from giving you an honest opinion of your idea. So, instead, I will talk about an unrelated topic and you can draw your own conclusions. So... did you hear about the manure fire that burned down a pig farm?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #copyright & trademark, #farmers & farm workers, #violates patents, #close compnay, #lawyer, #off grid, #legal

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Lawyer: Our new product violates 70 Google patents, 14 Apple patents, 52 Oracle patents, and 37 Microsoft patents. There is no hope. I recommend that we close the company and become farmers. Boss: I need a lawyer with more fight in him. Lawyer: I'm off the grid.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #farmers & farm workers, #work ethic, #manage issues, #align org. activities, #stakeholder, #real work, #farm

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Wally sys, "Should I continue to manage issues?" Wally says, "Or should I align organizational activities with stakeholder expectations?" The Boss says, "Which answer would cause you to do real work?" Wally says, "What is this, a farm?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #project, #transfer, #honesty, #truth, #limbo cube, #sad, #flashy, #sexy

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The Boss says, "I?m glad your project was transferred to my department, Ronald." The Boss says, "Your project is flashy! It's sexy!" The Boss says, "But it's not worth funding because the revenue projections are puny." The Boss says, "Until something changes, you'll be in the limbo cube." The Boss says, "I'll trot you out whenever a customer or an executive visits." The Boss says, "You can show your sexy-flashy powerpoint slides while dreaming of being relevant." The Boss says, "If you work hard, someday you'll be totally forgotten." The Boss says, "Did you know that honesty makes people sad?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #poltergeist, #copy machine, #promote, #server, #union, #scary, #creepy, #original, #nervous, #business

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The Boss says, "I hired a new poltergeist for our copy machine. Our old one got promoted to the server farm." Dilbert says, "Wouldn't it be better to not have any poltergeists?" The Boss says, "It's a union thing." Tina says, "May I please have my original back?" Poltergeist says, "I can't hear you. Put your face up close."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #victor, #project, #cube, #instructions, #hold piece of paper, #shoot, #press button, #goat head, #transform, #machine

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Dilbert says, "Victor didn't leave us much documentation on his project." FZEEET! Dilbert says, "I guess that's what he meant by 'still working on the goat head issue.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office noise, #whistling, #comnfrontation, #whiney appearence, #cubicle, #freakin moron, #work-around situation

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Dilbert: "Gaaa! That idiot is whistling in his cube again!!!" "I would complain but I don't like confrontation." "I can't talk to his boss because I would appear whiney." "There's only one solution." "Alice, please stop by my cubicle when you get a second." Alice: "What's up? Wait. I'll be right back." "STOP WHISTLING, YOU FREAKIN' MORON!!!" "What's up?" Dilbert: "Never mind. I found a work-around."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Catbert: Evil director of human resources<Br>"I've worked in a windowless cube for 25 years. Can I move to the vacant cube by the window?" "Sure." "GAAA!!! IT BURNS!" "Too fast."