Cup Of Coffee Comic Strips
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363 Results for Cup Of Coffee
View 1 - 10 results for cup of coffee comic strips. Discover the best "Cup Of Coffee" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday June 23,
2021
Ted Will Train You
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #training, #absence, #coffee, #helpful, #problem, #successful, #sarcasm
Transcript
boss: ask ted to show you how to do his job functions before he leaves for his new job. panel changes to office building. dilbert: what if he isn't helpful? boss: then i'll fire you for failing. panel changes back in office: dilbert: do you see any problem with the approach? boss: no. it's worked for years.
Tuesday May 25,
2021
Nominate A Coworker
Tags #business, #months, #recommendations, #co-workers, #office workers, #recognize, #superior, #work, #nominated, #honest, #idea, #coffee
Transcript
boss: two months ago, i asked you all for recommendations on co-workers who should be recognized for superior work. on day one, you all nominated yourselves. since then it has been quiet. dilbert: if i'm being honest, it wasn't one of your brightest ideas.
Sunday May 23,
2021
Million Dollar Bonuses
Tags #business, #technology, #deadline, #project, #million-dollar, #recommendation, #lying, #clock, #weeks, #spirit, #bonus, #mad, #finished, #no, #laptop, #coffee
Transcript
boss: if you finish by the deadline, i'll recommend you for a million dollar bonus. dilbert: you're lying. boss: i'm serious. dilbert: but you're also lying. boss: only one way to find out. dilbert: i'd need to work around the clock for weeks to meet the deadline. boss: that's the spirit! dilbert: if you're lying about the bonus, i'm going to be boiling mad. five weeks later. dilbert: it nearly killed me, but i finished by the deadline. where's my million dollar bonus. boss: i told you i'd recommend it. they said no.
Thursday April 29,
2021
Shaking Hands
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #invent, #Alternative, #handshake, #high-five, #month, #coffee
Transcript
boss: i've invented an alternative to shaking hands. you raise one hand up like the start of a high-five and stop. what do you think? dilbert: why don't you try it for a month and tell me how it goes?
Wednesday April 21,
2021
Wally Takes A Sick Day
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #video call, #laptop, #sick day, #work, #unwell, #sick, #work from home, #coffee, #lazy
Transcript
boss and wally on video call. wally: i'm not feeling well, so i'm going to take the day off from work. boss: you work at home. and you'll be just as sick whether you work or not, so why not work? wally: i don't know if you know this about me, but i don't like working.
Saturday April 10,
2021
Pandemic In Year Two
Monday April 05,
2021
Cameras Can See You
Tags #business, #business ethics, #technology, #hackers, #camera, #digital device, #skills, #detection, #performance, #review, #minutes, #laptop, #coffee
Transcript
boss and wally on video call. wally: did you know hackers can see you and hear you through the cameras on your digital devices? in fact, someone with my skills could do it in minutes and never be detected. boss: what are you trying to tell me? wally: it's just something to keep in mind when you do my performance review.
Saturday March 27,
2021
Cut Pay For No Commute
Tags #business, #technology, #video call, #commute, #employment, #wages, #reduce, #pocket, #stealing, #prison, #innocent, #laptop, #coffee
Transcript
dilbert and boss on video call. boss: i've decided to reduce your pay because you no longer commute. when you pocket those savings, it is as if you are stealing from the company. dilbert: actually, it isn't like that at all. boss: everyone in prison says they're innocent too.
Saturday March 20,
2021
Because Of The Pandemic
Tags #business, #covid-19, #managers & supervisors, #pandemic, #technology, #projects, #behind, #schedule, #virus, #laptop, #coffee
Transcript
boss: wally, four out of five of your projects are behind schedule. wally: that's because of the pandemic. boss: one of your projects is on schedule. wally: that's because of me.
Tuesday March 09,
2021
Garbled Audio
Tags #technology, #business, #video conference, #audio, #garbled, #gerbil, #laptop, #miscommunication, #zoom, #solve, #problems, #endangered, #coffee
Transcript
dilbert in front of laptop on video conference: our audio is garbled. i can't hear what you are saying. dilbert yelling: no, i didn't say anything about a gerbil. i said our audio is garbled. dogbert and dilbert at home. dogbert: how'd your zoom call go? dilbert: i solved zero problems and may have endangered a gerbil.