Data Base Concepts Comic Strips
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227 Results for Data Base Concepts
View 1 - 10 results for data base concepts comic strips. Discover the best "Data Base Concepts" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday August 16,
2020
Humans Making Decisions
Tags #biases, #business, #data, #decision, #guessing, #human nature, #making, #primitive, #psychology, #reason, #sarcasm, #superstitions, #technology, #science
Transcript
dilbert: when humans were primitive and dumb, they used their superstitions and biases to make decisions. eventually, science won out, and we evolved to use data and reason to make decisions. dogbert: how'd that work out? dilbert: not so good. it turns out that all of our data are unreliable and conflicting. and we don't have the mental capacity to use reason. dogbert: it's still better than guessing. dilbert: how do you know that? dogbert: you are hard to talk to.
Sunday July 26,
2020
Manage With Data
Tags #analysis, #business, #data, #face maks, #leadership, #manage, #managers & supervisors, #paralysis, #technology, #useable
Transcript
boss wearing face mask: we need to manage with data! dilbert wearing face mask: do we have any useful data? boss: not really. dilbert: so...actually we need to get data before we can use data. boss: we don't have time for your analysis paralysis! dilbert: i think you're taking both sides of the same argument. you insist on using data, but you don't want to wait for data. boss: it's called leadership. you wouldn't understand. dilbert: oh, i think i do. boss: stop being such a mask hole.
Saturday July 18,
2020
All Data Is Wrong
Tags #business, #co-workers, #data, #Entertainment, #experts, #guess, #horoscope, #inaccurate, #new study, #office workers, #pandemic, #sarcasm, #face mask, #covid
Transcript
dilbert and dogbert watching tv. tv: a new study shows that all data about everything is wrong. experts advised using horoscopes and guesswork to make decisions. dilbert: my co-workers already do that. dogbert: they were ahead of their time.
Saturday June 27,
2020
Credible Data
Tags #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology, #credible, #data, #problem, #test, #good
Transcript
alice: i finished the data throughput tests, but the results are not credible because of a problem with the test. boss: does the non-credible data make us look good? alice: yes. boss: our name for that kind of data is "credible."
Monday June 15,
2020
Real Data
Tags #decision, #office workers, #sarcasm, #dumb, #facts
Transcript
Man: We need to make decisions based on real data! Dilbert: Who do you imagine disagrees with that obvious statement? Man: Uh-oh. I just realized I'm dumb and never knew it. Dilbert: I hear it can sneak up on you.
Tuesday June 09,
2020
Shocking Fake Video
Tags #insults, #obliviousness, #videos, #conspiracy
Transcript
Boss: Did you see the shocking claims in the video I emailed to you? Dilbert: Yes. The video is so obviously fake that only a raging moron would think any of it is true. Boss: I think it's all true. Dilbert: Welp, that's one data point in my favor.
Friday June 05,
2020
Believing Experts
Tags #debates, #Opinion, #expert, #facts, #current events, #Politics
Transcript
Man: Haha! You idiot! How dare you dis-agree with the foremost experts in this field! Dilbert: Here's a breaking story about those same experts being arrested today for falsifying data. In a sane world, this information would serve to modify your strong opinion. Man: That's not how any of this works.
Thursday June 04,
2020
Factories No Buyers
Tags #big business, #money, #sarcasm, #customers, #poison
Transcript
Dilbert: Our factories are back online, but we have no buyers. It turns out that our customer base overlaps with the people who recently poisoned themselves with household disinfectants. Boss: Who could have seen that coming? Dilbert: I won a bet on it.
Wednesday May 13,
2020
Sciencesplainer Explains Science New
Tags #business, #sciencesplainer, #data, #report, #anecdotal, #controlled, #study, #accurate, #face mask
Transcript
the sciencesplainer dilbert wearing face mask: we don't have any data yet, but we are hearing good reports. sciencesplainer: those reports are anecdotal. you need a controlled study to be certain. dilbert distressed: literally everyone already knows that. sciencesplainer: sure. but did you know accurate data are better than bad data?
Friday May 08,
2020
Version 2 Kills
Tags #business, #upgrade, #software, #technology, #version, #health, #issue, #nonsense
Transcript
wally with face mask giving presentation: according to our newest data, 100% of the people who upgraded to version 2.0 of our software died the same day. wally to boss: but we don't think it means anything because all of them had underlying health issues. boss: how did they all have underlying health issues? wally: version 1.0 had some rough edges too.