Date At Door Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

357 Results for Date At Door

View 1 - 10 results for date at door comic strips. Discover the best "Date At Door" comics from Dilbert.com.

Quarantine Before Date

Thank you for voting.
Quarantine Before Date  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 2020's comic on:


Tags #date, #desperation, #dinner, #office workers, #quarantine, #technology, #two weeks

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: would you like to go to dinner with me? women: only if you self-quarantine for two weeks first. dilbert: can do! women: well, it seems i underestimated your desperation.

Wally Cares For Elbonian Baby

Thank you for voting.
Wally Cares For Elbonian Baby - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 2019's comic on:


Tags #babies, #excuses, #misunderstanding, #office workers, #Parenting, #work, #adoption, #negligence

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: How's it working out with the Elbonian baby you adopted? Wally: Great! Now I have lots of excuses for missing work, and I still look like a saint. Carol: What kind of daycare are you using? Wally: I just sprinkle cheerios on the floor and lock the door.

Phone Is More Interesting

Thank you for voting.
Phone Is More Interesting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 16, 2019's comic on:


Tags #cell phone, #criticism, #date, #dinner, #Entertainment, #men and women, #texting, #smartphone

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: I just realized I enjoy using my phone more than I enjoy interacting with you. I mean, this thing is amazing, whereas you haven't found a way to entertain me all night. Dilbert: Maybe I'll grow on you. Tina: "Now he sounds like a tumor. LOl!"

New Year's Day

Thank you for voting.
New Year's Day - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 2019's comic on:


Tags #holidays, #new year's day, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Happy random calendar date. I'll be celebrating by doing nothing fun or useful all day because everything is closed. Dogbert: You could visit your mom. Dilbert: How's that different from what I just said?

Social Media Ads To Influence

Thank you for voting.
Social Media Ads To Influence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 12, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #brain-reading, #computer, #social media, #profile, #friends, #testing, #influence, #cyborg, #ridiculous, #phone

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My brain-reading computer is checking your social media profile and finding your friends. I am now testing social media posts to see which ones influence them to recommend that to you date a cyborg. Woman: That's the most ridiculous thing I have ever. Dilbert: check your phone.

Dating A Coworker

Thank you for voting.
Dating A Coworker - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 25, 2018's comic on:


Tags #dating, #relationships, #office policy, #rules, #human resources, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Can I date a co-worker? Catbert: I doubt it. You're not attractive, funny, or rich. Dilbert: I mean, is it allowed under company rules? Catbert: We only have rules about things that might happen.

Porch Thief Is Neutralized

Thank you for voting.
Porch Thief Is Neutralized  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 2018's comic on:


Tags #violence, #retaliation, #delivery, #package, #stealing, #theft, #ring, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Uh-oh. My home security system is showing a thief stealing a package from my front door. Activating particle beam defense. The threat has been neutralized. Dilbert: When you say "neutralized," does that mean... Alice: Activating crime scene cleanup drone.

Backdoor Into Self Driving Car Code

Thank you for voting.
Backdoor Into Self Driving Car Code  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 2018's comic on:


Tags #government, #back door, #self driving, #software, #kill terrorits, #traitor, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Im uncomfortable with letting the government have a back door into our sled driving car software. The Boss: You worry too much, They'll only use it to kill terrorists and traitors. Dilbert: I think I might disable it and not tell them. The Boss: Traitor

Unforseen Problems

Thank you for voting.
Unforseen Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 22, 2018's comic on:


Tags #building apps, #completion date, #problems, #unforseen

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: It will take four weeks to build the app, unless there are unforeseen problems. how often do we have unforeseen problems? Dilbert: One hundred percent of the time. Then whats the point of estimating a completion date? Dilbert: I was hoping to make you stop talking but t dint work.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 2018's comic on:


Tags #network, #optics, #stupid company, #Women, #imagination, #flirting, #miscommunication, #co workers, #argument, #women in management, #employees, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: do you have lunch plans? Dilbert: Aren't you married? Carol: Im not asking you out on a date, Im trying to network. Dilbert: The optics wouldn't be good. Carol: How am I supposed to network in this stupid company? Dilbert: Maybe you could network with other women. Carol: This company has no women in management! Now I see the problem. Its people like you! Dilbert: Is it my imagination or was she flirting with me? Wally: I can't tell.