Death Threat Comic Strips

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281 Results for Death Threat

View 1 - 10 results for death threat comic strips. Discover the best "Death Threat" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ceo Does Math

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Ceo Does Math - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 29, 2020's comic on:


Tags #death & dying, #diseases, #earth, #humans, #sarcasm, #pandemic, #virus

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CEO: Why is everyone so panicked about coronavirus when maybe only 1% who get it will die? Catbert: One percent of the population of Earth would be...77 million dead. CEO: Yes, but the whole world won't get it. Catbert: They will if they listen to you.

Ceo Has Pandemic Plan

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Ceo Has Pandemic Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 30, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #video conference, #stock market, #money, #rich, #lost, #pandemic, #health, #underpay, #stategy

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ceo on video conference: i used to be rich, but i lost it all in the stock market crash during the pandemic. luckily, i can make up the difference by working you idiots to death while underpaying you. video chat: we thought you didn't have a strategy. ceo: i just don't like to talk about it.

Wise Person Said

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Wise Person Said - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #wise, #person, #boil, #stick, #egg, #Advice, #proverb, #threat, #overrate

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asok: a wise person once said you can't boil an egg with a stick. wally: no, but i can threaten you with a stick unless you boil an egg for me. asok: why didn't the wise person think of that? wally: he sounds overrated

Diet Preferences

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Diet Preferences - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 2020's comic on:


Tags #conference room, #office workers, #chitchat, #bore, #diet, #preferences

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dilbert thinking as walking into conference room: oh, no. i'm here too early. there will be chitchat. dilbert sitting empty conference room: someone is going to bore me to death talking about their diet preferences. ted: i only eat figs. dilbert thinking: kill me. kill me. kill me.

Bad Hair Day

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Bad Hair Day - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 2019's comic on:


Tags #angry, #boss, #employees, #employment, #hair, #hairstyles, #meetings, #threat, #warning

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Boss: Alice, why aren't you at this meeting? Alice: I'm having a bad hair day. Boss: That's no reason to miss a meeting! Alice: You don't understand. It's really, really bad. Boss: Come to the meeting right now, or you're fired! Gurk! Dilbert: That's bad hair. Alice: Can't say I didn't warn him.

Elbonian Cyber Threat Meeting

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Elbonian Cyber Threat Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #meeting, #office, #office workers, #elbonian, #cyber threat

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the boss: what are we doing about the elbonian cyber threat? dilbert: i called a meeting for tomorrow to come up with a plan for dealing with it. the boss: your weak response proves you are an elbonian spy. dilbert: what? to be continued...

Self Driving Car Named Carl

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Self Driving Car Named Carl - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 2019's comic on:


Tags #automobile driving, #cars, #intelligence, #sarcasm, #technology, #threat

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The self-driving car named Carl. Dilbert: Carl, take me to the grocery store. Carl: Do you know that if I drive you off a cliff, you will die, whereas I would respawn in a new body? Dilbert: Maybe I'll walk. Carl: Maybe you should.

Alice Gets Mandatory Training

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Alice Gets Mandatory Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 2018's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #office workers, #punishment, #threat

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Alice: I can't work with old Ned. He's a sexist, racist, bigoted troglodyte. Catbert: Name-calling is not allowed in this company. I sentence you to three weeks of mandatory training. Alice: I could trangle you with your own tail. Catbert: Six weeks!

Workplace Bully

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Workplace Bully - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 01, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #bully, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #threat, #work

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Boss: Cheryl, the other employees are complaining that you're a workplace bully. Cheryl: Hand over your wallet or else I'll tell your boss you tried to give me a shoulder rub. Carol: Did you talk to her? Boss: Don't ever ask me to do anything for your again.

Death In The Family

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Death In The Family - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 2018's comic on:


Tags #carol, #Catbert, #death, #Family, #dies, #specific

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Carol: Can I take time off for a death in the family? Catbert: Well, it depends who dies. Carol: Can you be more specific? Catbert: It has to be you.