Demanding Hay Comic Strips

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17 Results for Demanding Hay

View 1 - 10 results for demanding hay comic strips. Discover the best "Demanding Hay" comics from Dilbert.com.

Internet Wants Ceo To Die

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Internet Wants Ceo To Die - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 12, 2016's comic on:


Tags #anger, #shame, #unpopular, #popularity, #public relations, #gawker

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CEO: The company we acquired is making us look bad. Dilbert: How bad? CEO: The internet is demanding that I drink poison and apologize to the world while I die. What should I do? Dilbert: Well, I'm no doctor, but I'd go with something fast-acting.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 03, 2009's comic on:


Tags #demanding, #stock, #prices, #conspiracy, #idea, #alien

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "We need another economic bubble to drive up our stock value." Dogbert says, "Assemble the illuminati!" Man says, "As usual, I'll create the media frenzy, Dogbert will manipulate prices, and IXPU will vaporize the whistle-blowers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 2009's comic on:


Tags #ceo, #boss, #confused, #demanding, #corrupt, #ridiculous

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "Gas up the company jet, flunky. I'm going skiing in Aspen." Man says, "Using the corporate jet for a vacation sends the wrong message." Man says, "And you can't ski in the summer." Dogbert says, "What message do forty planeloads of snow send?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 14, 2008's comic on:


Tags #jesus, #downsized, #return as consultant, #save pensions, #forgetful boss

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Pronounced Hay-Soos The Boss: Jesus, I thought you got down-sized. Jesus: I came back. Tell the others I was downsized so I could return as a consultant and save their pensions. The Boss: I should have written that down."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 2008's comic on:


Tags #jesus, #ratted you out, #finding out, #undoing, #miracle

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Pronounced Hay-Soos Wally: Did you find out who ratted you out, Jesus? FZEET! Wally: Maybe you have a way of finding out that sort of thing.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 2008's comic on:


Tags #pronouned hay-soos, #fixed eye sight, #hair regrow, #40 shares, #punch pilot light, #ceo, #team organizer

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Pronounced Hay-soos. Wally: The new team leader, Jesus, is gaining quite a following." He fixed my eyesight and made my hair regrow. I think he wants your job as CEO. For forty shares of stock, I could point him out at lunch. CEO: I'll punch his pilot light out!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 2008's comic on:


Tags #jesus, #leader, #team leader, #in need, #12 people, #upgrade systems, #lunch meeting, #bed feelings, #savior, #office

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It's pronounced Hay-soos. Jesus: My name is Jesus, and I seek twelve people to work on my project. I am the saver of databases. Join me to upgrade our systems. Jesus: First, we're all going to lunch. Asok: I have a bad feeling about this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 2008's comic on:


Tags #breakroom, #coffee into wine, #hay-soos, #jesus, #miracle, #new employee, #special powers, #hair, #bald

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Pronounced Hay-soos Wally: With a name like Jesus, I can't promise I won't mock you. Foop! Jesus: baldness be gone. Wally: I'm not lazy...and I can see! Jesus: Don't spill your wine."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 2008's comic on:


Tags #jesus, #introduces, #new employee, #team leader, #enjoy retirement, #coffee stain

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The Boss: Wally, this is your new team leader. He spells his name like Jesus but it's pronounced Hay-Soos. If you do what Jesus would do, you can enjoy your retirement. Wally: I have a coffee stain that looks just like you. Jesus: I get that a lot."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 2005's comic on:


Tags #elbonians, #demanding bribes, #overpaid consultants, #legal, #won't get caught

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"The Elbonians are demanding bribes, or else they won't do business with us." "Hire them as overpaid consultants and don't ask them for anything. That way, it's all legal." "And by legal you mean won't get caught?" "Po-tay-to, po-tah-to."