Diet Plan Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

497 Results for Diet Plan

View 1 - 10 results for diet plan comic strips. Discover the best "Diet Plan" comics from Dilbert.com.

Jargon Poisoning

Thank you for voting.
Jargon Poisoning - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 26, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #huddle, #jargon, #calendar

View Transcript

Transcript

ted: let's plan a huddle to ideate around that opportunity. dilbert visually distressed and yelling: gaaa!!! i have jargon poisoning! ted: i'll send you a calendar invite. dilbert has fell over and feet are in air.

Encouraging Smoking

Thank you for voting.
Encouraging Smoking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #meeting, #office, #office workers, #smoking, #turnover, #breaks

View Transcript

Transcript

dibert, the boss and ask at conference table. the boss: our plan for reducing turnover is to encourage smoking. the boss: that way, everyone gets a relaxing smoke break several times per day. dilbert: or non-smokers could take breaks. the boss: now i wish you had been in the meeting when we planned this.

Elbonian Cyber Threat Meeting

Thank you for voting.
Elbonian Cyber Threat Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #meeting, #office, #office workers, #elbonian, #cyber threat

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: what are we doing about the elbonian cyber threat? dilbert: i called a meeting for tomorrow to come up with a plan for dealing with it. the boss: your weak response proves you are an elbonian spy. dilbert: what? to be continued...

Wally Plans His Retirement

Thank you for voting.
Wally Plans His Retirement - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #retirement, #profit

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: the product i'm developing will be unprofitable for the first none years, but revenue will surge in the tenth. the boss: didn't you tell me you plan to retire in nine years? wally: maybe. the boss: you will be happily retired before we find out if profits really do surge in year ten. the boss: that makes everything you say sound suspicious. wally: numbers don't lie. the boss: who came up with the numbers? wally: that's all the time we have for questions.

Have To Think About It

Thank you for voting.
Have To Think About It - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 02, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #idea, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you like my idea? Boss: I need to think about it. Dilbert: You mean you plan to wait a few weeks and then act as if it was your idea? Boss: Now that idea I like right away.

Gut Feeling

Thank you for voting.
Gut Feeling - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 2019's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #tests, #data, #instinct

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Why are we going ahead with the plan when the data says it can't succeed? Boss: I manage by instinct and gut feelings. Dilbert: How's that different from being insane or stupid? Boss: My gut says I should not listen to you.

Adjust The Data

Thank you for voting.
Adjust The Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #office, #research, #tests, #data

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The test data doesn't support our plan. Boss: We know our plan is brilliant, so just adjust the data to support it. Dilbert: You mean falsify the data. Boss: Let's not get hung up on the definition of things.

Firing Ted

Thank you for voting.
Firing Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #panic, #suspicious

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Ted, come to my office at five o'clock. Ted: Gaaa!!! That's what you say when you plan to fire people! Boss: Don't be ridiculous. Also, bring your keys.

Illegal Plan

Thank you for voting.
Illegal Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 2018's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #legal, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #suspicious

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Your plan doesn't sound legal.I'm not comfortable with it. Boss: We break the law all the time. It hasn't been a problem yet. Do you feel better now? Dilbert: What's your position on killing all witnesses?

Cake Is Healthy

Thank you for voting.
Cake Is Healthy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 14, 2018's comic on:


Tags #cake, #diet, #employees, #employment, #health, #health food, #office, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're launching a health and wellness initiative for employees this week. In other news, we have cake in the break room to celebrate all of the birthdays this month. Dilbert: Because cake is healthy? Boss: Learn to compartmentalize.