Disappointing People Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Disappointing People

View 1 - 10 results for disappointing people comic strips. Discover the best "Disappointing People" comics from Dilbert.com.

Real Men Multitask

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Real Men Multitask  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #software, #software design, #concentrate, #multitask, #distraction, #kill, #error

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: do you ever think about the fact that one small error in your software design could kill hundreds of people? all it would take is some kind of distraction while you are trying to concentrate. dilbert: are you done? boss: a real man could multitask in this situation.

Yes Queen

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Yes Queen - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business people, #sarcasm, #value, #appreciation, #queen, #devalue

View Transcript

Transcript

asok: alice, i want you to know that i hear you and i value you. alice: that's terrific maybe you could stop talking to me in that super creepy and condescending way. asok: yes, queen. alice: who broke you?

Banana Is Not An Apple

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Banana Is Not An Apple - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #apple, #argue, #banana, #business, #doctored image, #google, #managers & supervisors, #search, #wrong

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert holding out banana: i'm not hungry today. do you want my banana? boss: that's an apple. dilbert: um..no this is a banana. boss: clearly it is not. dilbert: i can't believe you are making me do a google search to prove i know what a banana is. see? those are bananas. this looks just like the photos. this is a banana. those images are doctored. dilbert yelling: there are a million banana images! they are not all doctored! boss: you know how i know you are wrong? because you never admit you are wrong. gotcha! dilbert yelling: that is not a thing!!! boss: that's exactly what all the people who are wrong say.

Talk To The Experts

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Talk To The Experts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #answer, #bribe, #experts, #face mask, #faster, #managers & supervisors, #Opinion, #plan, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i can't approve your plan until i know what the experts say. dilbert: i can save us some time by talking to the people who bribe the experts. i'll get the same answer, but faster. boss yelling: ouch! the truth hurts! dilbert: take a deep breath. it will pass.

People Enjoy Context

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
People Enjoy Context  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #video conference, #zoom, #customer, #self, #human, #sarcasm, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: when you schedule the zoom call with the customer, be sure to include me. dilbert: do you plan to use up all of our time talking about yourself? boss: people enjoy context. dilbert: it's as if you have never met a human.

No Mask For Zoom Call

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Mask For Zoom Call - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #zoom, #video conferencing, #face mask, #clinical, #study, #easy, #hate, #coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert video conferencing: you don't need a mask for a Zoom call. employee: can you back up that claim with a randomized clinical study? dilbert: i've noticed it's a lot easier to hate people lately.

Height Advantage

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Height Advantage - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company, #employement, #fired, #height, #hiring, #managers & supervisors, #pay cut, #short, #tall, #video conferencing, #zoom

View Transcript

Transcript

boss video conferencing with carl: carl, i hired you because you are tall, but now it doesn't matter because everyone looks the same height on zoom. your height advantage has disappeared, so today will be your last day with the company. carl: maybe instead you could cut my pay to the same level as short people. boss: that just might work.

Golden Age For Wally

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Golden Age For Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #6 feet, #avoid, #coffee, #eye contact, #face mask, #grocery shopping, #office workers, #social distancing, #upgrade, #Women

View Transcript

Transcript

wally at coffee pot talking to Dilbert:: social distancing has been a great upgrade to my life. in the old days, women avoided me by at least ten feet. now i often get within seven. i think it's because i'm better-looking with most of my face covered. especially if i wear a hat and sunglasses. and i learned that women will talk to me if i walk the wrong way down a grocery aisle. they're usually complaining but at least they make eye contact. it's sort of a golden age for people like me.