Dna Changing Comic Strips

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82 Results for Dna Changing

View 1 - 10 results for dna changing comic strips. Discover the best "Dna Changing" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally's Dna Test

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Dna Manipulation

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Dna Says Wally Will Steal

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Dna Says Wally Will Steal - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #psychology, #dna, #steal, #office supplies, #junk, #science, #experts, #listen

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Catbert: wally, according to your dna, the odds of you stealing office supplies later this week are nearly 100%. wally: that sounds like junk science. catbert to boss: he refuses to listen to experts.

Loser Dna

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Loser Dna  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #performance, #review, #dna, #lying, #test, #impossible

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catbird: from now on, your performance reviews will be based on your dna alone. your boss can't tell when you are lying about you accomplishments, but a simple test can tell me if you have loser dna. dilbert: i don't believe that is possible. catbird: that response is how i know you have it your test is done.

Authority On Your Opinion

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Authority On Your Opinion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #disagreements, #Opinion, #sarcasm, #change, #debate, #authority, #hallucinating, #lying, #stupid, #gaslight, #insult, #face mask

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co-worker: why have you changed your opinion since last week? dilbert: i haven't changed my opinion. co-worker: no, it was different last week. dilbert: are we really debating which one of us is a better authority on my opinion? co-worker: you might be lying about not changing your opinion. dilbert: and you might be hallucinating or lying or just stupid. co-worker: you might be trying to gaslight me right now. i'm glad we can have these honest talks. dilbert: i hope you plunge to your death in a freak elevator accident.

Saying You Are Dumb

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Saying You Are Dumb  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #job, #change, #technology, #dumb, #imply, #product

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dogbert's tech support ted: i can't figure out how to use your product. what should i do? dogbert: i recommend changing jobs to something less challenging. ted: are you saying i'm dumb? dogbert's once from phone: no. no. no. i'm only implying it.

Wally's Dna

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Wally's Dna - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #dishes, #break room, #dna, #genealogy

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carol: did you leave unwashed dishes in the break room? wally: it wasn't me. carol:" i got a dna sample off a fork, ran it against public genealogy records and narrowed it down to your family. carol: how do you explain that? wally: sounds like i have a child i don't know about.

Boss Email Password

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Boss Email Password - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #competition, #email, #obliviousness, #security, #strategy

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Boss: We need to find out who leaked our strategy to our competition. Alice: Is your email password still 123? Boss: Stop changing the subject.

Changing The Website

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Changing The Website - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #internet & world wide web, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm

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Dilbert: We need to change one of the links on our website. Boss: Pull together a study team, do a focus group, get buy-in from all departments, and present it at the next division meeting. Dilbert: I changed it while you were yammering. Boss: Let us never speak of this again.

Everything We Have Done Is Stupid

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Everything We Have Done Is Stupid - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mistake, #criticism, #obliviousness

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Boss: I recently learned that everything we have been doing is stupid. Dilbert: Does that mean we'll be changing what we do? Boss: Let's see how far we can get by demonizing our critics first.