Dont Remeber Comic Strips
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1000 Results for Dont Remeber
View 1 - 10 results for dont remeber comic strips. Discover the best "Dont Remeber" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday November 04,
2020
Wally Hates His App
Tags #business, #technology, #application, #stop, #fix, #hate, #developers, #need, #problem solving
Transcript
wally speaking in meeting: i spent all week trying to sign into an app that stopped working for some reason. boss: but you got it to work in the end? wally: no, all i did was learn to hate the developers. boss: how do you plan to solve that? wally drinking coffee: i don't need to. it isn't an app i need.
Tuesday November 03,
2020
Boss Bluffs On Blockchain
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #blockchain, #byte, #code, #consensus, #bluff
Transcript
boss in meeting: i'm no expert on blockchain, but i think... we need to get the evm stack on the bytecode so we don't run into a consensus fork. boss to ted: did that mean anything? ted: don't ask me. i'm bluffing too.
Monday November 02,
2020
Boss Ear Piece
Tags #answers, #blockchain, #business, #ear piece, #evil, #ignorance, #managers & supervisors, #smart, #technology
Transcript
boss: later i have a meeting about blockchain and i don't understand anything about it. i'll be wearing this earpiece, and i want you to feed me smart lines. dilbert at home talking to dogbert: do you want to do something evil? dogbert: say no more. give me that.
Monday October 26,
2020
A Feeling You Are Doing It Wrong
Tags #business, #correct, #friends, #mistakes, #sarcasm, #technology, #watch, #wrong
Transcript
dilbert: i have a feeling you are doing something wrong, but i don't know what. do you mind if i watch over your shoulder and look for mistakes as you make them? coworker: you don't have friends, do you? dilbert: i like to travel light.
Friday October 23,
2020
Nothing Is Totally Safe
Tags #business, #health & safety, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology, #test, #reality, #blame, #face mask
Transcript
boss: have you tested everything to make sure it is 100% safe? dilbert: nothing is 100% safe. we don't live in that kind of reality. but i'll bet you want me to say it anyway. boss: it's more about the blame later.
Wednesday October 21,
2020
Hand Sanitizer
Tags #office workers, #business, #hand sanitizer, #addicted, #overuse, #face mask, #covid-19, #pandemic
Transcript
dilbert: i'm getting addicted to hand sanitizer. it started with my hands, but over time, i extended it up to my forearms, then behind my ears, and it just kept going. dilbert: want a squirt? alice: i don't know where that thing has been.
Tuesday October 20,
2020
Quarantine Wally
Tags #avoid, #business, #clean, #covid-19, #hazmat suit, #health & safety, #quarantine, #symptoms, #wash, #pandemic
Transcript
man in hazmat suit: you reported covid-19 symptoms, so we have to quarantine you. wally: i don't have symptoms. i just said i did to avoid a meeting. man in hazmat suit: well, you probably have it now. i haven't washed this hazmat suit in five months.
Friday October 16,
2020
Protesters Surround Building
Tags #face mask, #fire, #lobby, #managers & supervisors, #office building, #protest, #protesters, #sign, #support, #business
Transcript
dilbert and boss looking out office window. dilbert: protesters have surrounded our building. boss: don't worry. i put a supportive sign in the lobby so they'll know we are on their side. dilbert: update: our nine lower floors are on fire. boss: maybe i should have used a bigger sign.
Saturday October 10,
2020
Asok Is Overpaid
Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #project, #technology, #time, #pay, #argue, #math, #face mask, #salary
Transcript
asok: i finished my project in half the projected time. boss: that means i'm paying you twice as much as you deserve. asok: i don't think it means that at all. boss: you look dumb arguing with math.
Thursday October 08,
2020
No Mask For Zoom Call
Tags #business, #zoom, #video conferencing, #face mask, #clinical, #study, #easy, #hate, #coffee
Transcript
dilbert video conferencing: you don't need a mask for a Zoom call. employee: can you back up that claim with a randomized clinical study? dilbert: i've noticed it's a lot easier to hate people lately.