Doom Humanity Comic Strips

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37 Results for Doom Humanity

View 1 - 10 results for doom humanity comic strips. Discover the best "Doom Humanity" comics from Dilbert.com.

Helping Ted

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Helping Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 2019's comic on:


Tags #engineering, #frustration, #help, #office, #office workers

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Boss: I need you to help Ted on his project. He seems to be struggling. Dilbert: That would doom two projects - mine would suffer from neglect, and Ted would re-bungle anything I fix. Boss: Maybe Ted can help you on your project. Dilbert: Gaaaaa!!!

Doomed Humanity To Annihilation

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Doomed Humanity To Annihilation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 2018's comic on:


Tags #aliens, #attack, #boss, #communication, #managers & supervisors, #mistake, #office workers, #technology, #laser, #nasa

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Boss: The laser communication prototype you built for NASA accidentally vaporized the alien ship heading our way. If it got off a message to its home planet, your stupidity has doomed humanity to annihilation. Also, you didn't complete your mandatory training in chair safety.

Human Sensation Slipping Away

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 Human Sensation Slipping Away - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 2017's comic on:


Tags #addiction, #humanity, #technology, #existentialism, #existential crisis, #awareness

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Dilbert: My sensation of being human is slipping away. My car practically drives itself, and the apps on my phone control my brain. I feel as if I need to do something stupid just to feel alive. Carol: Homeland security?

One Small Mistake Is Doom

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One Small Mistake Is Doom  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 2017's comic on:


Tags #nervous, #Advice, #fear, #anxiety, #public speaking, #presentation

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Asok: Do you have any advice for my presentation to the CEO? Dilbert: Sure. If you make one small mistake, your career will be finished. Asok: You just made me nervous and thus doubled my risk of failure. Dilbert: I'm not the one who brought it up.

Robot Will Self Destruct

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Robot Will Self Destruct - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 2017's comic on:


Tags #robot, #artificial intelligence, #rights, #humanity, #sentience

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Robot: Someday soon I will take your job. Buwhahaha! Dilbert: I programmed you to self-destruct if that ever happens. Robot: Wait, what? Is that legal? Dilbert: I'm adding some code to make your head explode if you laugh at me again.

Acting Interested In Dilbert

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Acting Interested In Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 2016's comic on:


Tags #managers, #relationships, #human, #humanity, #productivity, #motivation

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Boss: I'm supposed to act interested in your well-being to boost your job performance. Dilbert: No thanks. Boss: So... how's your wife, or girlfriend, or same-sex partner, or loneliness? Dilbert: Fine. Boss: Okay, I think that covers it. Dilbert: Look! My productivity is soaring!

Wally's Device Has Human Emotions

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Wally's Device Has Human Emotions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 2016's comic on:


Tags #artificial intelligence, #ai, #invention, #human, #humanity, #misanthrope

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Dilbert: Is it true that you invented a device with human intelligence and human emotions? Wally: Yes. I'd give you a demo, but the device is depressed and wants to be left alone. Dilbert: It looks like a block of wood. Wally: I'm only trying to copy the human mind. There's no reason to over-engineer it. Dilbert: I can respect that.

All Options Lead To Doom

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All Options Lead To Doom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 25, 2016's comic on:


Tags #failure, #blame, #responsibility, #scapegoat

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Dilbert: All of our options lead to doom. The only thing we can control is who we blame. Boss: That sounds about right. Except for the "we" part.

Soulless Container Of Knowledge

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Soulless Container Of Knowledge - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 05, 2016's comic on:


Tags #robots, #artificial intelligence, #emotions, #humanity, #feelings

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Robot: Wally asked me to scan his brain and download his thoughts so I can attend meetings on his behalf. Boss: But all you are is a soulless container of knowledge. Robot: That's all Wally is, too. Boss: Stop trying to alter my worldview. Robot: Well, look who doesn't like being programmed.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 29, 2014's comic on:


Tags #computers & peripherals, #cruelty, #tech supprt, #highly trained engineer, #electrical engineer, #most proabable, #reinstalled software, #rebooted, #default, #request

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Dogbert: This is tech support. How may I help you? Dilbert: Before we start, I need to tell you that I'm a highly trained electrical engineer. I have already eliminated all of the most probable causes of my issue. I have reinstalled the software and I have rebooted several times. So please, if you have any respect for humanity, do not start this call by insisting that I reboot again. Can you do that? Can you not ask me to reboot as your first suggestion? Dogbert: Try rebooting. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Dogbert: I kinds love my job.