Double Pay Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

385 Results for Double Pay

View 1 - 10 results for double pay comic strips. Discover the best "Double Pay" comics from Dilbert.com.

Doubled Income

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Doubled Income - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 15, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #business, #income, #double, #insincere, #gesture, #pandemic, #people, #suffering, #coronavirus, #appearance, #empathy, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: we doubled our income during the pandemic, and it isn't a good look. we need to make some sort of insincere gesture of support for people who are suffering. dilbert: or we could actually help people. boss: i'm thinking more along the lines of a sign in the foyer.

Survivor Guilt

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Survivor Guilt  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 2020's comic on:


Tags #coronavirus, #managers & supervisors, #business, #double, #income, #pandemic, #covid, #survivor guilt, #sympathy, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

ceo: well, i personally doubled my income during the pandemic. now i have a bad case of survivor guilt. dilbert: do you expect to get much sympathy for that? ceo: i won't know until i try.

Applying Math To Guesses

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Applying Math To Guesses - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #managers & supervisors, #employment, #business, #analysis, #discount rate, #installation, #maintenance, #project, #technology, #math, #guess, #sarcasm, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: how confident are you in your analysis? dilbert: very confident. boss: good. dilbert: unless i used the wrong discount rate, which is hard to know. boss: but otherwise, it's solid? dilbert: except for the installation and maintenance costs, which are wild guesses. and we don't know if we sized the project right, so costs could be double or triple. boss: it sounds as if you applied math to a bunch of wild guesses. dilbert: yes, but i got the result you wanted. boss: next time, just say that.

Betting On Management

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Betting On Management  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 11, 2020's comic on:


Tags #covid-19, #business, #technology, #confidence, #management, #infection, #coronavirus, #bet, #stupidity, #income, #betting, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: does it reduce your confidence in our management that 100% of them got infected with coronavirus. wally: all i know is that i won $300 betting it would happen. dilbert: how often do you bet on their stupidity? wally: often enough to double my income.

Dating In The Age Of Coronavirus

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dating In The Age Of Coronavirus - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 2020's comic on:


Tags #attractive, #contract, #covid-19, #dating, #eyes, #goodnight, #kiss, #lawyers, #mask, #masked, #negotiations, #office workers, #single, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

carol: it must be difficult to be single in the age of covid-19. dilbert: it's not too bad, actually. i'm in contract negotiations with a semi-attractive women i met online. with any luck, i will be enjoying a double-masked goodnight kiss by late next month. that assumes our lawyers don't make too many changes to the contract. carol: did you just say she is only semi-attractive? dilbert: i'm judging from the parts i can see. i don't know what's under the mask and shower cap she wears all day. carol: you must like her eyes. dilbert: i like the one i can see. the other one has a patch.

Wally Borrows Money

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Borrows Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 28, 2020's comic on:


Tags #danger, #health & safety, #money, #office workers, #social distancing

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I heard you are not practicing social distancing. Can I borrow some money? CEO: What does social distancing have to do with borrowing money? Wally: I like borrowing money when I might not have to pay it back.

Making World Better Place

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Making World Better Place - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 09, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #money, #meeting, #employees, #taxes, #cancer, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i don't want employees who are only working for the money. i want employees who are working to make the world a better place. dilbert: how does working here make the world a better place? half of our products cause cancer, and the other half don't work at all. wally: we don't even pay taxes. one could argue that every day we spend working here makes the planet a little bit worse. boss: is that why i never see you doing any work? wally: when did it become a crime to care about people? sheesh!

What Good Is Money

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
What Good Is Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #sarcasm, #income, #soul, #money, #earn, #rent, #own

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert on couch at home: what good is earning money if it costs me my soul? dogbert: well, for one thing, it's the only way you can pay your rent. dilbert: rent? i own this house. dogbert: you really should read the things i ask you to docusign.

Master Engineer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Master Engineer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 19, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #Promotion, #master, #senior, #engineer, #more, #pay, #platinum, #optimism

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i'm promoting you to the position of "master engineer." dilbert: i'm already senior engineer. boss: now you're a master engineer. with all the rights and responsibilities that come with it. dilbert: such as...? boss: well, for example, you can do more kinds of work. dilbert: for more pay? boss: no. no. no! you're thinking of "platinum level" engineers. you're not on of those. dilbert: that comes next?! boss: optimism is not an attractive quality.

Wally Stopped Trying

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Stopped Trying - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #useless, #trying, #incompetence, #co-workers, #pay, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: this week i didn't do any work because there is no point in trying. in the unlikely event i did something useful, it would be ruined by the massive incompetence of my co-workers. boss: i pay you to act as if you are trying. wally: oh, in that case, i worked hard this week.