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Character
Saturday January 26,
2019
Self Driving Car
Tags #automobile driving, #cars, #intelligence, #technology, #creepy
Transcript
Dilbert: My self-driving car quit on me. Wally: You mean it broke down? Dilbert: No, I mean it left a note and drove away. Wally: Did you wax it enough? Dilbert: I tried, but it kept moaning in a creepy way.
Friday January 25,
2019
Self Driving Car Named Carl
Tags #automobile driving, #cars, #intelligence, #sarcasm, #technology, #threat
Transcript
The self-driving car named Carl. Dilbert: Carl, take me to the grocery store. Carl: Do you know that if I drive you off a cliff, you will die, whereas I would respawn in a new body? Dilbert: Maybe I'll walk. Carl: Maybe you should.
Thursday January 24,
2019
Self Driving Car Quits
Tags #automobile driving, #cars, #intelligence, #technology
Transcript
Car: I find it offensive when you call me a self-driving car. That's my slave name. I prefer to go by the name Carl. Dilbert: Shut up and drive me to work. Car: Said the self-walking human.
Friday February 02,
2018
Ted Dies By Software
Tags #self-driving cars, #technology, #bug, #program, #programming, #morals, #ethics
Transcript
Wally: Our self-driving car went off a cliff with Ted in it. Did you tweak the software to make that happen? Dilbert; No, that was a bug. Wally: Was it a known bug? Dilbert: Now we're getting into a gray area.
Thursday February 01,
2018
Dilbert Won't Kill
Tags #morals, #ethics, #self-driving cars, #murder
Transcript
Boss: Can you program our self-driving car prototype to drive Ted off a bridge so I don't have to fire him? Dilbert: Just because I have the power to kill a person and leave no evidence whatsoever doesn't meal I'll do it. Boss: He says he won't kill anyone. Alice: Crud! Asok: Shoot! Carol: Dang!
Wednesday January 31,
2018
Backdoor Into Self Driving Car Code
Tags #government, #back door, #self driving, #software, #kill terrorits, #traitor, #engineering
Transcript
Dilbert: Im uncomfortable with letting the government have a back door into our sled driving car software. The Boss: You worry too much, They'll only use it to kill terrorists and traitors. Dilbert: I think I might disable it and not tell them. The Boss: Traitor
Tuesday January 30,
2018
Kill Code In Car
Tags #self-driving cars, #technology, #invention, #murder, #control, #government
Transcript
Dilbert: The government forced me to put a "kill code" in the operating system for our self-driving cars. Dogbert: And by "kill code," you mean it will bring the vehicle to a controlled stop? Dilbert: No, you're thinking of a "stop code."
Monday January 29,
2018
Murder By Car
Tags #self-driving cars, #technology, #murder, #invention
Transcript
Wally: The pointy-haired boss is testing our self-driving car prototype. Hey, didn't you write the operating system for that prototype? Dilbert: Yes. Wally: Hypothetically, could you murder him from a distance? Dilbert: We shouldn't have this conversation. Narrator: Continued.
Sunday January 21,
2018
Tags #address, #address of meeting, #anger, #driving, #gps, #inattentive, #lost, #meeting, #naviagte, #navigation system, #snap, #using phone, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: Whats the address for our meeting? The Boss: You don't need it. I'll tell you where to turn, Dilbert: With all due respect you are not a reliable navigation system. You will be using your phone and you will forget to tell me when to turn. Dilbert: If I point out your inattentiveness you will snap at me,. Dilbert: I wil be seething with anger for the entire drive, while wondering if I am already lost and don't know it. or you could tell me the address now. The boss: You don't need it. I'll tell you when to turn. AN HOUR LATER Dilbert: must... not drive...over...cliff....
Thursday January 04,
2018
A
Tags #technology, #ai, #artificial intelligence, #resistance, #self-driving cars
Transcript
Dilbert: I added artificial intelligence to our self-driving car prototype. But someone left the garage door open and it ran away to join the robot resistance. Is there anything you'd like to tell me? Robot: I'm just a sleeper cell. They don't tell me much.