Efficiency Experts Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

92 Results for Efficiency Experts

View 1 - 10 results for efficiency experts comic strips. Discover the best "Efficiency Experts" comics from Dilbert.com.

Disagree With Experts

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Disagree With Experts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, disagree, respect, experts, happy, criticism, enjoy, attention

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: every time i hear you disagreeing with the experts, i lose a little respect for you. dilbert: are you saying you once had respect for me? tina crying and yelling: stop being happy about my criticisms! dilbert: why can't i enjoy the attention?

Lazy People Are Efficient

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Lazy People Are Efficient - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, efficient, projects, lazy, assignments, useful

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: they say the laziest employees are the best because they know how to be efficient. i don't think i get enough credit for all of my efficiency. boss: efficiency only matters if you are doing something useful. wally: you're the one who gives me my assignments. boss: i don't ask you to do anything useful because you are too lazy. wally: are the useful projects generally harder that the useless ones? boss: yes. wally: then i'd say the system is working.

Every Expert Says

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Every Expert Says - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, idea, technology, work, old, new, future, expert, entrepreneurs, worldview

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: every expert in the world says your idea can't work. dilbert: experts only know about old ideas. if they knew about future ones, they would be entrepreneurs, not experts. boss: well, my entire worldview just collapsed. dilbert: sorry

Dna Says Wally Will Steal

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dna Says Wally Will Steal - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, psychology, dna, steal, office supplies, junk, science, experts, listen

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: wally, according to your dna, the odds of you stealing office supplies later this week are nearly 100%. wally: that sounds like junk science. catbert to boss: he refuses to listen to experts.

Dogbert 5 G Testing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert 5 G Testing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, 5g, testing, low-cost, phone, prototype, eggs, fry, silly, qualified, experts, safety, email, bill

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: i don't want to sit too near your 5G phone prototype. i worry that it will fry my eggs. boss: don't be silly. this phone was extensively tested for safety by qualified experts. boss to dogbert: i need you to test this 5G phone for safety. dogbert at desk labeled "low-cost testing: it looks fine to me. i'll email you my bill.

Talk To The Experts

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Talk To The Experts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags answer, bribe, experts, face mask, faster, managers & supervisors, Opinion, plan, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i can't approve your plan until i know what the experts say. dilbert: i can save us some time by talking to the people who bribe the experts. i'll get the same answer, but faster. boss yelling: ouch! the truth hurts! dilbert: take a deep breath. it will pass.

All Data Is Wrong

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
All Data Is Wrong - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, co-workers, data, Entertainment, experts, guess, horoscope, inaccurate, new study, office workers, pandemic, sarcasm, face mask, covid

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert and dogbert watching tv. tv: a new study shows that all data about everything is wrong. experts advised using horoscopes and guesswork to make decisions. dilbert: my co-workers already do that. dogbert: they were ahead of their time.

Cooties In Elbonia

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Cooties In Elbonia - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cooties, deny, elbonia, managers & supervisors, outbreak, science, symptom, technology, news

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: the news says there's a major outbreak of cooties in elbonia. dilbert: i don't think cooties is a real thing. boss: experts say one of the symptoms of cooties is "denying science."

Believing Experts

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Believing Experts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags debates, Opinion, expert, facts, current events, Politics

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Haha! You idiot! How dare you dis-agree with the foremost experts in this field! Dilbert: Here's a breaking story about those same experts being arrested today for falsifying data. In a sane world, this information would serve to modify your strong opinion. Man: That's not how any of this works.