Search Results for "elbonian"

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Death By Ninjas Is Best

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Death By Ninjas Is Best - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 2018's comic on:


Tags #ninja, #hit man, #optimism, #frustration, #irony

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Wally: Why aren't you worried about the Elbonian ninjas who are reportedly coming here to kill you in your sleep? Dilbert: That's the best way to die. I won't care about anything after I'm gone, so this is the ideal scenario for me. Elbonian 1: He's ruining everything with his cheery attitude. Elbonian 2: Let's see how he likes another thirty years in a cubicle.

Elbonian Ninjas

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Elbonian Ninjas - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 18, 2018's comic on:


Tags #controversy, #offense, #offensive, #threat, #murder, #ninja, #optimism

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Boss: The sales video you made for our Elbonian market is causing a public relations crisis. Their government has ordered Elbonian ninjas to kill you in your sleep. Dilbert: In my sleep? The best way to die! Boss: Stop confusing my bad news with your good news.

Elbonian Cabbage Juggling

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Elbonian Cabbage Juggling - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 2018's comic on:


Tags #offense, #offensive, #racist, #racism

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Dilbert: Here's my first cut at a sales video for our Elbonian market segment. Video: If you enjoy juggling cabbages while overdrinking, you'll love our products! Boss: This sounds kind of racist. Dilbert: Inebriated cabbage-juggling is their national sport.

Elbonian Sales Video Assignment

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Elbonian Sales Video Assignment  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 16, 2018's comic on:


Tags #culture, #catch-22, #misunderstanding, #communication

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Boss: Dilbert, I'm putting you in charge of making a persuasive sales video for our Elbonian clients. Make sure you read their wikipedia page first so you understand the nuances of their culture. Wikipedia: In the Elbonian culture, showing someone a sales video is punishable by dead.

Elbonian Interference With Ads

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Elbonian Interference With Ads - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 2018's comic on:


Tags #hacker, #troll, #social media, #damage, #marketing, #bot, #nonsense, #business, #technology

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Dilbert: Our competitors hired an Elbonian troll farm to ruin our brand on social media. Their most viral ad against us so far says, "How ice cream they bicycle art!" Boss: How many views did it get? Dilbert: Seven, including this one.

Elbonian Interference

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Elbonian Interference - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 2018's comic on:


Tags #hacker, #hacking, #trolls, #protest, #counter-protest, #obliviousness, #manipulation

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Dilbert: Uh-oh. I think we are being attacked by an Elbonian troll farm. They're organizing an employee protest against management and... a management counter-protest against employees. Luckily, no one here is stupid enough to... Boss: Down with employees!

Elbonian Slave Labor

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Elbonian Slave Labor  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 05, 2018's comic on:


Tags #employees, #slave, #wages, #compensation, #minimum wage, #morality, #business, #money

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Boss: Management was shocked to learn that the company we acquired had been using Elbonian slave labor. We immediately replaced them with minimum wage employees who have no hope of career advancement. Wally: You did the right thing. Boss: That's how it felt.

Elbonian Hackers Delete Wally's Report

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Elbonian Hackers Delete Wally's Report - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 2017's comic on:


Tags #evidence, #excuses, #hackers, #hacking, #laziness, #assignment, #elbonians, #a, #zing report

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Boss: Did you finish your assignment? Wally: Yes, but Elbonian hackers deleted my report along with all of my backups. Boss: I have no way of knowing that's true. Wally: It was an amazing report! Better than you've ever seen.

Elbonian Virus Infects Mission Statement

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Elbonian Virus Infects Mission Statement  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 08, 2017's comic on:


Tags #virus, #hack, #infection, #computer, #spelling, #grammar, #edit, #improvement, #technology

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Dilbert: The Elbonian virus scrambled our mission statement into nonsense. Alice: No, that's our actual mission statement. Dilbert: Why does it look so different? Alice: The virus fixed the grammar and punctuation.

Virus Gives Everyone A Raise

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Virus Gives Everyone A Raise  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 07, 2017's comic on:


Tags #virus, #infection, #computer, #malware, #morals, #salary, #technology, #money

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Boss: The Elbonian virus in our network just gave ever employee an ten percent raise. You have to get rid of the virus! Dilbert: If the Elbonian software is giving me a raise, and you're trying to sop it, wouldn't that make you the virus?