Employee Values Comic Strips
512 Results for Employee Values
View 1 - 10 results for employee values comic strips. Discover the best "Employee Values" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share February 08, 2020's comic on:
dilbert: we will no longer be using you as a vendor because you have not performed. vendor employee: i already knew that because you replaced us with one of the subsidiaries of my parent company. dilbert: well, at least it isn't you. vendor employee voice on phone: who do think they sub-contract that work to?
Share February 01, 2020's comic on:
Share January 27, 2020's comic on:
dilbert: i don't think your plan will work. employee: pffft. of course you don't. you are trying to sabotage me because you are jealous of my success. dilbert: you read minds as well as you make plans. employee: apology accepted.
Share January 15, 2020's comic on:
boss: our internal audit found that you violated over four hundred company rules in the past year. dilbert: i'm also the only employee who accomplished anything last year. now connect the dots. boss: so you're saying we need more rules.
Share December 28, 2019's comic on:
boss: all out the employee engagement survey and make sure you lie like crazy. i don't want any accurate information to bubble up to senior management. dilbert: i've never felt less important. boss: good. that's why i can underpay you.
Share December 06, 2019's comic on:
male employee: your idea won't work because others have already tried it and failed. dilbert: others have tried different things that simply remind you of my idea. i mean, you remind me of a rodent, but that doesn't prove you like cheese. employee: i love cheese
Share November 16, 2019's comic on:
male office worker: can you help me with something? dilbert: no, our employee compensation system incentivizes me to let you fail so i can lay claim to a larger share of our limited budget for raises. maybe you could ask someone who is less aware. office worker: none of them are smart enough to help.
Share October 29, 2019's comic on:
boss: i can't hire you because we already have an employee named carl. it would confuse people, and we don't need that. interviewee: what about my skills? boss: people with better names have skills too.
Share September 02, 2019's comic on:
Boss: My new employee is doing such great work that he makes the rest of you look like chimpanzees. I think you know what you need to do. Wally: Sabotage all of his projects. Boss: Try to do it before he takes my job.
Share August 29, 2019's comic on:
Man: Let me tell you how to do your job. You need to get all the vendors in the same room and insult them until they offer you discounts. Dilbert: That sounds super dumb. Man: That's what they said to Galileo old man.