End Of Line Comic Strips
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View 1 - 10 results for end of line comic strips. Discover the best "End Of Line" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share August 15, 2019's comic on:
Share June 02, 2019's comic on:
dilbert: my profit forecast isn't aligning with our strategy the boss: try adding some variables. dilbert: what kind of variables? the boss: the kind that make our strategy line up with our profit forecasts. dilbert: but...then my forecast would not be accurate. the boss: it's already inaccurate because no one can forecast complicated things five years ahead. the boss: if we can't be accurate, we might as well be wrong in a way that is good for us in the near term. dilbert: you make a surprisingly robust argument for evil. the boss: and i was barely trying!
Share January 27, 2019's comic on:
Boss: I can't give you a raise because you didn't accomplish anything this year. Dilbert: Are you insane? I completely redesigned our line of products!!! Boss: That was mostly last year. Dilbert: You didn't give me a raise last year because I wasn't finished until January of this year. Now you aren't giving me a raise this year because I did most of the work last year. Give me one reason I shouldn't quit right now! Boss: Because every other company is just as bad. And you don't like change. Dilbert: I said one reason!
Share November 06, 2018's comic on:
Dilbert: I accomplished nothing this week because my idiot co-workers continue to use their speakerphones in the office. This is compounded by the fact that my idiot boss doesn't allow me to work from home. If you need me, I'll be sitting in my cubicle doing nothing but waiting for other people's phone calls to end.
Share October 13, 2018's comic on:
Dogbert: I took a test to find out if I'm a sociopath. I got every question right. Dilbert: And by "right," you mean...? Dogbert: I already lost interest in your end of the conversation.
Share September 29, 2018's comic on:
Dilbert: I've noticed there's a fine line between optimism and idiocy. Wally: There's also a fine line between cynicism and realism. Dilbert: I just lost my will to live. Wally: There's a fine line between dead and working.
Share September 23, 2018's comic on:
Tags #Wally, #the boss, #bad, #technology, #day, #phone, #freezing, #printer, #working, #network, #warning, #lights, #christmas, #tree, #laptop, #boot, #coincidence, #permission, #lock, #lead-line, #box, #hero
Wally: I'm having a bad technology day. My phone keeps freezing, my printer isn't working, and our network is down. Wally: My car's warning lights look like a Christmas tree, and my laptop won't boot up. Maybe its all just coincidence but I don't think we can take that chance. May I have permission to lock myself in a lead-lined box to protect the rest of the company? The Boss: How will I know you're really in a lead-lined box? Wally: YOu'll know because your phone will be working fine. The Boss: My phone is still working that man is a hero.
Share August 01, 2018's comic on:
Dilbert: I built a robot that learns human behavior by observation. By the end of the first week it was a sexist, racist idiot. The Boss: Can you fix that bug? Dilbert: Some say climate change will get it done.
Share June 25, 2018's comic on:
Dilbert: Do you have any feedback on my idea? Man: Yes. You're weak and stupid, and everyone you love will end up in jail. Dilbert: Do you spend a lot of time on Twitter? Man: Is that a lucky guess or are you spying on me?
Share March 24, 2018's comic on:
Woman: You've been promising me you'd finish the web page for the last six months. Wally: This is your fault for not giving me an artificial deadline. Woman: Okay. I need it by end of day. Wally: And miss my dental appointment??