Enough People Quit Comic Strips

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View 1 - 10 results for enough people quit comic strips. Discover the best "Enough People Quit" comics from Dilbert.com.

Bedraggled People

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Ted Is Great But Not Enough

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Ted Is Great But Not Enough  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #comparison, #managers & supervisors, #performance, #employment, #exceptional, #fired, #universe, #sense, #complain, #reverse psychology

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boss: ted, your performance this year has been exceptional. but everyone else was even better, so...you're fired. ted: in what universe does that even make sense? boss: you also complain too much.

Make Us Look Good

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Make Us Look Good - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #press release, #company, #support, #social, #issues, #complaining, #awesome, #research, #appearances

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ceo: write a press release saying our company supports whatever social issues people are griping about lately. tina: does it matter which issues i pick? ceo: nah. just make us look awesome. tina: should i research the issues first? ceo: are you trying to not get the point?

Ceo Wants To Get Involved In Politics

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Ceo Wants To Get Involved In Politics  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #political issues, #Politics, #stock market, #technology, #company, #controversial, #predict, #impact, #drop, #earnings, #stock, #sell, #involvement

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ceo: i've decided our company needs to get more involved in controversial politics. dilbert: wouldn't the predictable impact of that be a huge drop in our earnings? ceo: no, no. people will love us for getting involved. dilbert: can you at least hold off until i sell all of my stock.

Marrying An Elbonian

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Marrying An Elbonian  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #elbonia, #accusations, #marriage, #plan, #job, #name, #sarcasm, #bigot

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dilbert and dogbert on couch at home. dilbert: people at work accused me of being bigoted against elbonian men, so i'm marrying one to prove them wrong and keep my job. dogbert: what's his name? dilbert: i think it's something like gluppfril or breemf. dogbert: sounds like a solid plan.

Dilbert Doesn't See Hats

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Dilbert Doesn't See Hats  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hat, #sarcasm, #business, #elbonia, #big, #working, #sight, #patronizing

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Elbonian man: i heard a rumor that you hate working with people who wear big hats. dilbert: i don't see hats. elbonian man: are you patronizing me right now? dilbert: i can't tell.

Work From Home Or Office

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Work From Home Or Office - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #video call, #office, #work from home, #home, #quit, #shoot, #dead, #mistake, #happiness

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boss on video call. boss: how many of you would prefer going back to work in the office instead of working at home? voices from laptop: i'd rather be dead. i quit. shoot me. boss walking in living room thinking: i knew it was a mistake to let them taste happiness.

Dick Tells A Rumor

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Dick Tells A Rumor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #workplace, #coworkers, #people, #gossip, #malice, #slander, #pointless, #pain, #nemesis, #office workers

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dick: hi, i'm dick, your workplace nemesis. dilbert: i know who you are. dick: people are saying terrible things about you behind your back, but i can't tell you who they are or what they are saying. dilbert: what is the point of telling me that? dick: have i mentioned i feed on your pain.

Dilbert Gets A Nemesis

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Dilbert Gets A Nemesis  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #files, #nemesis, #assigned, #prevent, #successful, #job, #loptop

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dilbert and boss on video call. boss: i checked my files, and i see no nemesis has been assigned to you. dilbert: why do i need a nemesis? boss: it prevents you from being successful enough to take my job. dilbert: okay, that makes sense.

Remote Workers Do Not Mate

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Remote Workers Do Not Mate - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #appearance, #dating, #love & dating, #walking, #outdoors, #dating app, #woman, #app, #reproduction, #inner qualities, #goodbye, #genes

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dilbert and dogbert walking outside. dogbert: they say most people meet their future mates at work. now that you are working from home, your odds of mating just turned negative. you could try using a dating app to find a woman, but then you'd need to rely on your looks. obviously, that's a dead end. your best chance of reproduction has always been to wear down a co-worker over several years. women need time to get over your appearance, and to appreciate your inner qualities. we should have a goodbye party for your genes. dilbert: maybe next time we could walk and not talk. dogbert: maybe.