Equity Comic Strips

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View 1 - 10 results for equity comic strips. Discover the best "Equity" comics from Dilbert.com.

Initial Coin Offering

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Initial Coin Offering  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ico, #cryptocurrency, #bitcoin, #jargon, #language

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Dilbert: Maybe we should do an initial coin offering, or ICO. Boss: What's that? Dilbert: It's a non-equity process for raising capital that uses a custom crypto-currency and the blockchain. I might be wasting my time here. Boss: So... it's a chain made out of coins?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #choosing, #competition (psychology), #start up, #pay half, #stay or go

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Dilbert: A start-up offered to pay me half of what I make now, plus equity in a company that has no value. Boss: I will double that if you stay! Dilbert: I decided to stay, but it was hard to feel good about it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dress cassually, #drive innovation, #flex hours, #frustration, #optimism, #start up culture, #valued work

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Boss: We need to foster more of a start-up culture to drive innovation. Dilbert: So we get to dress casually, work flex hours, feel that our work is valued, and get equity in the company. Boss: What would be the name of a culture where people work hard but don't get any of those things you just mentioned.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #benefits, #boss, #employee, #huge equity poistion, #questing, #start up, #wear whatever, #work at home

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Boss: We need to act more like a start-up. Dilbert: You mean I can wear whatever I want, work at home, and have a huge equity position in the company? Boss: Oh, I guess I didn't know what that meant.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #plan, #revenue, #excitement, #hair, #money sign

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Vijay, the world's worst venture capitalist Dilbert says, "A hundred million people need this type of service." Dilbert says, "I already built the website and people are signing up." Foop! $ Vijay says, "When we negotiate my equity stake, focus on my poker face and not my optimistic hair." Yeeha!!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #venture capitalist, #solar panel business, #cha- ching, #negotiate equity

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Vijay the venture capitalist Dogbert says, "We're going into the solar panel business." Vijay says, "CHA-CHING! CHA-CHING!" $$ Vijay says, "Pretend you didn't see that when I negotiate my equity."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #equity analyst, #rate stock, #banking investment, #wall, #between businesses, #weasels

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Equity Analyst Weasel: I'll rate your stock a "Must buy now" If you give us your investment banking business. The Boss: aren't you supposed yo have a chinese wall between those two businesses? weasel: Am I Too early? Weasel 1: Use the door idiot

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #brand equity, #increasing skills, #kleenex engineers, #sneeze, #kleenex, #engineers

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Wally comes up behind Dilbert, who is sitting at his desk, and says, "While you toil in utter futility, I'm building my personal 'brand equity.'" Wally continues, "I'm increasing my skills and my contacts every day." Then, as Alice approaches, adds, "My goal is to becomes the 'Kleenex' of engineers!" Alice bumps into Wally, knocking the glasses off his face. She says, "'Scuse me, I have real work to do." Alice brings her hand to her mouth, as she says, "Ooh... sneeze coming." She opens her mouth wide, "Aaaah..." "CHOO!" She sneezes in Dilbert's cubicle and Wally's glasses go flying again. Wally is now gone. Alice and Dilbert remain. Alice tells Dilbert, "I think of Wally as the 'Kleenex' of engineers." Dilbert agrees, "Me too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #plundered, #downsized, #equity, #massive stock options, #victory seems hollow, #meaningful contribition, #book deal, #trophy wife

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Dogbert walks by empty cubicles. He thinks, "I've downsized this company and plundered its equity by excercising my massive stock options." A chauffer holds the door as Dogbert gets into his limosine and thinks, "Yet my victory seems hollow. Something is missing." Dogbert sits on the couch with Dilbert. Dilbert says, "Maybe you're missing a sense of meaningful contribution to society." Dogbert relies, "Maybe... but I'm thinking book deal and trophy wife."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #open book management, #debt, #equity ratio, #sweeping, #broom, #carpets

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The janitor stands behind Alice at her workstation and says, "... then I sez, "Hey our debt to equity ratio is increasing." The janitor sweeps his broom through the air. "I lept into action and started seeping like I've never swept before!" The janitor says, "Then I sez, 'Hey, why am I using a broom on carpets?'"