Evil Genius Comic Strips

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327 Results for Evil Genius

View 1 - 10 results for evil genius comic strips. Discover the best "Evil Genius" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ai That Creates Comics

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Ai That Creates Comics - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 2019's comic on:


Tags #Comic Strip, #inventions, #sarcasm, #technology, #creativity

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Dilbert: I invented an A.I. that can create comic strips. Boss: Pffft! That's impossible. No machine will ever match the creative genius of human cartoonists. Dilbert: This one is about a guy who thinks his boss is dumb. Boss: No one wants to read that.

First Time Doing Marketing

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First Time Doing Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #business ethics, #criminals, #marketing, #office

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dilbert, dogbert and the boss at conference room table. dogbert: your competition has a superior product, but you can compensate by branding them as evil. dilbert: we can say they charge too much. dogbert: or...we can say their leather cases are made from the skin of executed criminals. dilbert: but that would not be true. dogbert: first time doing marketing?

Evil Marketing

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Evil Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #business ethics, #chimps, #evil, #marketing, #office, #product

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dilbert, the boss and dogbert at conference room table. the boss: our competition released a product that makes our product look like it was designed by chimps. the boss: that's why i hired the world's most evil marketing expert to help us close the perception gap. the boss: should we focus on our value proposition? dogbert: if that means accusing them of crimes they didn't commit, then yes.

Why Are Other Companies Not Doing It

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Why Are Other Companies Not Doing It - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office, #company, #variables

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the boss to dilbert: if your idea is so good, why aren't other companies doing it? dilbert: because they are in completely different businesses with completely different variables and they don't have a genius like me working for them. the boss: what happens if we try your idea but we do it wrong? dilbert: that's called "business as usual."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #strategy, #variables, #forecast

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dilbert: my profit forecast isn't aligning with our strategy the boss: try adding some variables. dilbert: what kind of variables? the boss: the kind that make our strategy line up with our profit forecasts. dilbert: but...then my forecast would not be accurate. the boss: it's already inaccurate because no one can forecast complicated things five years ahead. the boss: if we can't be accurate, we might as well be wrong in a way that is good for us in the near term. dilbert: you make a surprisingly robust argument for evil. the boss: and i was barely trying!

Manipulation Via Dopamine

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Manipulation Via Dopamine - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 2019's comic on:


Tags #customer, #lotalty, #science, #new, #manipulate, #addictions, #mockery, #free will, #evil, #extreme

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Boss: We've moved past the old notation of customer loyalty. Now we use science to manipulate dopamine and create addictions that make a mockery of free will. Dilbert: That sounds like the epitome of evil. Boss: We call it "extreme marketing."

Ai Is Stupid For An Hour

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Ai Is Stupid For An Hour - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 2019's comic on:


Tags #intelligence, #robot, #sarcasm, #social media, #stupidity, #technology, #twitter, #humans

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Alice: Your so-called breakthrough in artificial intelligence is a fraud. I talked to it for an hour, and everything it said was stupid. Wait...that's the same as using Twitter. Dilbert: Is it too soon to call me a genius?

Fly On Weekend

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Fly On Weekend - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #evil, #cheap

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Boss: I need you to do a customer site visit. Book your flight for the weekend so you don't miss any work. Dilbert: I'm impressed by your casual evil. Boss: Bring your own food.

Horse Blinders

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Horse Blinders - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 08, 2018's comic on:


Tags #communication, #employees, #office, #office workers, #work

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Dilbert: I added horse blinders to my noise-cancellation headphones. You tried to ruin my productivity by moving to an open office plan, but I have thwarted your evil ambitions. Boss: Experts say the open plan is better for communication. Dilbert: Are you talking? I can't tell.

Bitter Losers

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Bitter Losers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 21, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #idea, #lying, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #Promotion

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Boss: I'm promoting Ted for coming up with a genius idea to reduce our software expenses. Dilbert: That was actually my idea. All Ted did was tell you it was his idea. Boss: How do you put up with these bitter losers? Ted: The promotion helps.