Executive Board Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

186 Results for Executive Board

View 1 - 10 results for executive board comic strips. Discover the best "Executive Board" comics from Dilbert.com.

Lucky Profits

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Lucky Profits - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bonus, #business, #compensation, #executive, #managers & supervisors, #pandemic, #sarcasm, #technology, #video conferencing, #zoom, #luck

View Transcript

Transcript

catbert to ceo: there's a problem with your executive compensation. the company made so much money during the pandemic, purely by luck, that your bonus would be ten million dollars. ceo: i earned it. catbert: you made zoom calls wearing only socks.

Nervous About Presentation

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Nervous About Presentation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #managers & supervisors, #nervous, #office workers, #presentation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm nervous about the presentation I have to give to the board. Do you have any advice? Boss: Don't blow it, or else I'll fire you. Dilbert: I heard it's good to imagine the audience naked. Boss: Report yourself to H.R.

Tweaking Variables

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tweaking Variables - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #strategy, #stupidity

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I can't get my five-year projections to match what you told the board. Boss: Try tweaking the variables until they do. Dilbert: That would make me a liar. Boss: Nah. In five years it will look like ordinary stupidity.

If We Are Off By One Percent

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
If We Are Off By One Percent - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #projection, #prediction, #finances, #big business, #guess, #estimate, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: According to my highly unreliable forecast, we're on the right track. But if even one of my seventeen assumptions is off by one percent, we are doomed. The obvious conclusion is that... Board: We're nailing it!

Worthless Financial Projections

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Worthless Financial Projections - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #money, #finances, #big business, #projection, #prediction, #guessing, #estimate

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Here's the financial projection you asked me to do. It's basically just guessing plus math. Obviously, it's useless for making decisions because I can get any result I want by tweaking the assumptions. Boss: Don't say any of that stuff when you present it to the board tomorrow.

Wally Presents To Board

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Presents To Board - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stealth, #invisibility, #naked, #surprise, #hiding, #camoflage

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I want you to present your stealth clothing prototype to our board. Wally: Are you sure? Boss: Of course I'm sure. CEO: I thought we were trying to make the person invisible. Wally: Then why is it called stealth "clothing?"

Wally's Invention Goes Into Production

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Invention Goes Into Production - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #invention, #success, #laziness, #fairness, #unfair

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: The board decided to put your invention of a phone charger that warms coffee into production. Market surveys show enormous demand. You're probably going to be our Employee Of The Year. This disturbs me on many levels. Wally: Genius is often disruptive.

Forgot To Go To Pre Meeting Corrected

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Forgot To Go To Pre Meeting   Corrected - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #lying, #deadline, #boss, #executive

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Is the software finished as your boss promised me it would be? Dilbert: I forgot to go to the pre-meeting for this meeting, so I'll guess the answer is.. yes? CEO: Okay, keep up the good work! Dilbert: Thanks goodness he doesn't know what the truth even looks like.

Cartoonist Says Something Bad On Social Media Real

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Cartoonist Says Something Bad On Social Media Real - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #sociopath, #pathology, #hit man, #murder, #killing, #morals, #emotions

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The famous cartoonist we hired to be our spokesperson said something bad on social media. Boss: Oh no. How bad is it? CEO: Our board voted to kill him. Do you know any sociopaths? Boss: I'm head of Engineering. CEO: Good point. Pick any one of them.

Accidentally Buying A Tainted Company

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Accidentally Buying A Tainted Company - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #merger, #acquisition, #gawker, #reputation, #infamy

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I accidentally talked the board into buying a company that has a tainted reputation. Catbert: How bad is the taint? CEO: Imagine Hitler's unwashed socks. Catbert: That isn't so bad. CEO: I'm just getting started. Now imagine I make you eat those socks...