Eyes Closed Comic Strips

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181 Results for Eyes Closed

View 1 - 10 results for eyes closed comic strips. Discover the best "Eyes Closed" comics from Dilbert.com.

Yay, A Package

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Yay, A Package - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags package, arrived, consumer, amazon, purchase, birthday, feel, forgetfulness, dish soap

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Dilbert opening front door at home: yay! my package arrived! i buy one thing per day from amazon and then forget what i ordered, so it feels like my birthday every day. dogbert with hands over eyes: i can't watch this. yes! dish soap! how did i know i wanted that?

Climate Change And Wally

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Climate Change And Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, late, attendance, alarm, power, phone, coal power plant, climate change

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wally to boss and dilbert: sorry i'm late. my alarm didn't go off because my town lost power and my phone battery died. and we lost power because the state closed down the lost coal power plant to reduce co2 emissions. so really, the fault lies with climate change, not me. dilbert: (slow clap)

Dilbert Tells The Odds

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Dilbert Tells The Odds - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, decision, estimate, managers & supervisors, miscommunication, odds, technology, wrong

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dilbert: i estimate odds at a 70% chance things go well, and a 30% chance we lose money on the deal. boss: if we lose money, will you admit you were wrong? dilbert: how could i be wrong? i'm just telling you the odds. boss: if we lose money, that's on you for recommending it. dilbert: um...no. i'm telling you the odds and letting you decide. boss: but you're the one saying this is such a great deal. dilbert upsetting and yelling forcing face mask off his face: i'm only telling you the odds, you pea-brained ignoramus!!! boss: so, you won't admit you were wrong? dilbert's face mask is over his eyes.

Dating In The Age Of Coronavirus

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Dating In The Age Of Coronavirus - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags attractive, contract, covid-19, dating, eyes, goodnight, kiss, lawyers, mask, masked, negotiations, office workers, single, technology

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carol: it must be difficult to be single in the age of covid-19. dilbert: it's not too bad, actually. i'm in contract negotiations with a semi-attractive women i met online. with any luck, i will be enjoying a double-masked goodnight kiss by late next month. that assumes our lawyers don't make too many changes to the contract. carol: did you just say she is only semi-attractive? dilbert: i'm judging from the parts i can see. i don't know what's under the mask and shower cap she wears all day. carol: you must like her eyes. dilbert: i like the one i can see. the other one has a patch.

No Human Contact

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No Human Contact - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags home, human, contact, self isolation, quarantine, coronavirus, health, oxytocin, lonely

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dilbert at home: i haven't had any human contact for months. dilbert wearing face mask sitting on couch with dogbert: people need physical contact to keep their oxytocin at healthy levels. dogbert: get away from me. dilbert: maybe if we both close our eyes.

Appearing In Photos

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Appearing In Photos - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags co-workers, technology, social media, friends, Opinion, abhor, person, characteristics, jerk

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tina: i can't be your friend because i saw a disturbing photo of you on social media. you were in a group photo with a person whose opinions i abhor. dilbert: can you explain why that makes me a bad person? tina: sure. duh. when you appear in photos with other people, you acquire their bad characteristics. dilbert: i don't think that's how it works. tina: that's exactly how it works! one photo with a jerk makes you a jerk! case closed! dilbert taking selfie with Tina in background: smile. tina upset: no-ooo!!!

Ceo Visits

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Ceo Visits - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, ceo, office, questions, visit, eyes, dead, business

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dilbert: our ceo will be visiting the office tomorrow, so act busy. and don't look directly at him because i don't want him to see how dead your eyes look. dilbert: can we ask him questions? boss: no, nothing good can come from that.

Read It With My Own Eyes

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Read It With My Own Eyes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags argument, communication, email, frustrated, office, office workers, plans

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Man: I disagree with your email saying the plan won't work. Dilbert: My email said exactly the opposite. I said the plan will definitely work. Man: No, I read it with my own eyes. Dilbert: I'm the one who wrote it!!!

New Year's Day

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New Year's Day - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags holidays, new year's day, sarcasm

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Dilbert: Happy random calendar date. I'll be celebrating by doing nothing fun or useful all day because everything is closed. Dogbert: You could visit your mom. Dilbert: How's that different from what I just said?

Alice Forgives

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Alice Forgives - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags revenge, forgiveness, bygones, anger, vindictive

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Man: Alice, can you review this for technical accuracy? Alice: No, because six years ago you rolled your eyes when I said something at a meeting. Man: Can you forgive me? Alice: Yes. That process involves not helping you.