Fair Share Price Comic Strips
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220 Results for Fair Share Price
View 1 - 10 results for fair share price comic strips. Discover the best "Fair Share Price" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday April 01,
2021
Ruined The Stock Price
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Sunday December 20,
2020
Wally Makes A Suggestion
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology, #product idea, #idea, #debunk
Transcript
wally: did you see my brilliant product idea i emailed to you? boss: yes, i already debunked it in my mind. wally: perhaps you could share your reasons. boss: if it's such a great idea. why isn't someone else doing it? and if someone is already doing it, we are far too late. in order for your idea to be good, i would have to think you are smarter than everyone in the industry. and seriously, just look at you. anyone else have an idea? others: nope. nope, never. nope.
Monday November 23,
2020
Share Your Screen
Tags #embarrassment, #technology, #business, #office, #video conference, #zoom, #share, #screen, #quit
Transcript
dilbert looking at laptop on video conference voice from laptop: let me share my screen and i'll...uh-oh. oops. not that screen. don't judge me! how do i make it go away?!!! gaaa!!! i can't take the embarrassment! i quit! Dogbert and dilbert in another room dogbert: how was your zoom call? dilbert: best one ever.
Friday November 20,
2020
Ghost Writer
Tags #author, #ghostwriter, #autobiography, #ghost, #fingers, #clothes, #keyboard, #business
Transcript
dogbert: you should hire a ghostwriter to write your autobiography. dilbert: that's dumb. a ghost's fingers would go right through the keyboard. dogbert: then how do their clothes stay on? dilbert: fair point.
Saturday October 24,
2020
Lover Not A Fighter
Tags #business, #technology, #software, #price, #lover, #fighter, #report, #human resources, #bully, #sexual discrimination
Transcript
dilbert: i'd fight with you on the price of this software, but i'm more of a lover than a fighter. female software vendor: are you hitting on me? you'd better buy my software now, or i'll report you to your own human resources. dilbert: okay. okay. i'll do anything you want. female software vendor: wow. you were right when you said you're not a fighter.
Sunday August 23,
2020
Ratio Is Too High
Tags #managers & supervisors, #expense, #budget, #capital, #ratio, #too high, #afford, #standards, #historical, #irrelevant, #manage, #department
Transcript
boss: we need to reduce our expense budget to 40% of our capital budget. dilbert: why do we need to do that? boss: because the ratio is too high. dilbert: are you saying we can't afford it? boss: no. i'm saying the ratio is too high. dilbert: okay, but by what standard is it "too high"? boss: by historical standards, it has never been this high. dilbert: i don't think we want to start using an irrelevant ratio to manage the department. boss: to be fair, this is just the first time you noticed.
Thursday August 06,
2020
Offer 90 Percent Less
Tags #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #price, #list, #stupid, #impact, #face mask, #business
Transcript
boss: try offering 90% less than the list price and see if they take it. dilbert: no one reduces their prices by 90% just because you want them to do it. i will look stupid for asking! boss: watch how that doesn't impact me at all.
Thursday February 13,
2020
Price Gouging
Tags #business, #network, #idiot, #price, #gouging, #upgrade
Transcript
vendor: now that the network installation is half-done, i have you idiots right where i want you. it's too late for you to get a new vendor, so i'll be price-gouging you on upgrades you didn't even know you would need. dilbert: why are you telling us???? vendor: it makes it more fun for me.
Monday February 10,
2020
Tags #business, #conversation, #excellent, #hardware, #network, #price, #record, #reliability, #warranty
Transcript
dilbert: the new hardware you bought isn't compatible with our network. boss: i know, but the price was excellent, and they have a great reliability record. dilbert: i don't even know what conversation i'm in right now. boss: the extended warranty is second to none.